In Need of Healing: Part 1
by SyruliaS
Summary: What if Severus Snape had fallen in love with someone other than Lily during his time at Hogwarts? Find out how it goes in this "Marauders' Era" AU fanfic about young Severus and my OC, Syrulia. Rating is very MA (Adult and Sexual themes), with TRIGGER WARNINGS (Abuse, Depression, and Suicidal Thoughts). Read at your own risk! (COMPLETED with Part 2 coming soon)
1. Chapter 1

I.

"Okay, I will do it as soon as we get back," Syrulia replied over her shoulder. As they rounded the bend, a hand suddenly pulled her backwards. "That's not good enough," Avery said angrily, turning her to face him roughly. His hand slid around her throat, his grip tightening. "I want you to go back to the castle and do it now," he hissed, his eyes narrowed. Syrulia knew she couldn't speak, so she nodded the best she could. He finally let go of her throat and a ragged breath entered her lungs. She coughed as she started to walk back past him. "Where is my kiss", he questioned. Silently she turned back and kissed him gently on the lips. "That's better," he smirked.

Syrulia pulled the collar of her cloak up to hide the marks she was sure were already starting to appear. Tears stung her eyes as she walked quickly past the lake. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Severus staring at her from his spot under a tree. She hoped he hadn't seen that display, but suddenly sensed him moving behind her. She realized that he had gathered his things and was trying to catch up. A bit reluctantly she slowed her pace, allowing him to catch up.

He came into stride beside her and she asked, "What do you want, Severus". Her voice was a bit colder than she would have liked, and the rasp in her voice remained. "I just wanted to see if you were okay," he said in his normal cool tone. "I am fine," she said, pulling the cloak up tighter. "Sure you are," his sarcasm seeped out. As they approached the steps, Syrulia looked over to him and could see the concern hidden in his gaze. "Really Severus, I am fine. It's not any worse than normal," she confided. "Will you let me look at it," he asked, "Maybe I can help". "Fine", she sighed as they climbed the main stairwell into the castle.

They made their way to the Slytherin common room, where Severus gave the password and allowed Syrulia to enter first. 'At least he is more kind than most of the Slytherin jerk-boys… or men in general', she thought. Syrulia led the way to an empty corner of the room and set her bag on a chair. Severus followed suit and then pointed to her neck. She sighed again and reluctantly lowered her collar. Severus pulled out his wand, looking over the bruising that had already begun to form a handprint. "Is it that bad," she asked. "Not really," he lied, feeling a pang of sadness and forcing it from his mind. "Hold still", he warned as he began to cast the healing charm.

His face was especially close as he began inspecting her neck for further bruising. She breathed in lightly, the scent of potions ingredients, parchment, and a slight mustiness filling her nostrils. She found the scent to be comforting in a way. Warmth crept into her face as he lightly pulled a strand of hair away from her neck, his fingers lightly brushing her skin. He straightened back up, reassuring her, "I got all of it." He noticed the redness in her cheeks and wondered what had happened. "Thank you, Severus," she said, with a small smile. She picked her bag back up and turned to leave. "Syrulia," his voice stopped her dead in her tracks. She turned to face him, "Yes, Severus?" "Why do you put up with him," he asked her. "I could ask you the same thing," she retorted before heading back towards the female dormitory.


	2. Chapter 2

II.

When Avery returned from Hogsmeade Syrulia was waiting for him in the common room. "You have it finished," he questioned. She nodded in reply and held the book and parchment out for him. He took the items from her and handed them to his friend Mulciber who had come in with him. "Oh, sweet Syrulia," he cooed at her, as he pulled her into his embrace. She knew this tone; it was how he always acted after attacking her. "You know I love you," he whispered into her ear. She nodded again, laying her head against his chest.

"Lets go somewhere more private," he whispered, motioning for Mulciber to leave them alone. He grasped her hand and led her to the same empty corner of the room where Severus had helped her only hours earlier. This thought made her heart jump into her throat. She buried the thought away as Avery pulled her down into his lap. "I didn't hurt you, did I," he whispered, pulling back her hair to look at her neck. "I'm fine," she said in a flat tone. "Good," he replied, kissing her neck gently. His hands moved over her body, one sliding over her thighs the other pulling her in closer. He kissed her neck more, trailing up towards her jaw line, finally landing on her mouth. Feverishly he kissed her, and she returned the kisses with only slight hesitation.

Avery closed his eyes as he breathed in her scent and felt the warmth of her body against him. Out of the corner of her eye, Syrulia could see Severus re-enter the common room and spot her and Avery. His face was as stony as usual, but his eyes gave him away. He didn't like seeing Syrulia give in to Avery so easily. He had just hurt her, so how could she continue to snog him? Severus calmly walked to the entrance of the boys' dormitory and disappeared from her sight.

She tried to stop thinking about Severus, but found it hard to shake him from her mind. She vividly remembered his scent, his eyes looking at her with that slight sadness, and his cool tone as he spoke to her. The thought of him made her heart race. Avery took notice, and assumed he was the cause of her sudden excitement. He deepened the kiss, his tongue finding hers. She gave in, and followed suit.

At lights-out time Avery gave her one last kiss goodnight and they went to their separate dorms. As Syrulia lay in her four-poster bed looking up at the canopy, she still thought of Severus. He too continued to follow Avery and Mulciber in all of their evil-doings, even to the disdain of the ever-popular Lily Evans, whom Severus so desired. Syrulia felt her cheeks burn as she became angry. What she wouldn't give to have Severus love her that way… She rolled over and cried into her pillow; everything was just so unfair.


	3. Chapter 3

III.

During Potions class the following day Syrulia had forgotten all about her feelings of misery. She was partnered with Avery, as usual, Severus and Mulciber on the opposite end of the counter. Avery had surprised her with a present, delivered by owl that very morning, a necklace from an expensive jeweler. He had presented it to her with the promise that he would never again 'lay a hand on her pretty neck'. She had been so thrilled that she had completely forgiven him and forgotten all about the feelings of anger she had the night before.

She did not, however, forget about her growing feelings towards Severus, and eyed him with caution during their potion brewing. She noticed that he looked particularly stony today, his eyes giving off a slight angry fire. She wondered what had happened to him, but Avery flirting with her continuously interrupted her thoughts. As she went to hand in their finished brew, Severus walked up next to her. "Easily bribed," he hissed as he passed. Her heart skipped a beat, as she realized what he was talking about. Of course he thought she was naïve for taking such a gift and accepting the apology from Avery, but that couldn't be the only thing bothering him. Besides, what was she supposed to do… if she didn't have Avery, what _did_ she have?

Syrulia had never truly had a friend before. She had always been intimidating to those around her, or too shy to try speaking to anyone herself. It had been Avery who had approached her during their first year at Hogwarts and asked her to sit with him and his friends at dinner. From there they began to speak all the time, and eventually they had become a couple. Their relationship had been fine in the beginning; Avery had never been violent in the slightest. However, during their 5th year he had become much more devious, and perhaps even evil. He would grab onto her roughly, threaten to hurt her, or even threaten harm on her family. He also began pulling mean pranks on non-Slytherin students, along with Mulciber. She thought that these things were likely temporary; due to the stress he was having at home. After all, Avery's father was close in the ranks of followers of the Dark Lord, Voldemort.

However, things were constantly changing in their relationship. They spoke less than before, and Syrulia felt as though she didn't really know him any longer. Occasionally he would return to his kinder nature and lure her back into his affections, only to cause her physical and emotional harm again. She knew this wasn't a great relationship or situation to be in, but what was the alternative? Risk being alone, risk him hurting her even more, risk being ridiculed and outcast… No, she could not take that, the pain she felt now could not be worse than that. So she continued to be subservient, and to cling onto the memory of Avery she had when they had first began dating.

As Severus passed her again, his shoulder brushed hers and their eyes met for a brief instant. She could feel fire burning inside her, matching the fire in his eyes. She masked this anger as she turned her potion in to Professor Slughorn, and returned to her seat next to Avery. He couldn't sense the anger she held inside of herself, and continued to grasp her thigh in an affectionate manner under the table. She smiled at him, a smile that he saw as real, but that masked further the anger she was feeling.


	4. Chapter 4

IV.

A week passed without further angry outbursts from Avery, and Syrulia had begun to feel that he had perhaps started to change back to his old self. Maybe he really meant what he had said to her. On Friday evening as they made their way back to the common room, he asked her if she would like to go for a date in Hogsmeade the following day. Syrulia beamed up at him, "Yes, I would love that." He chuckled in his dark way, and wrapped an arm around her as they made their way down to the dungeons.

They rounded a corner and heard a commotion. "Get him, Sirius," a familiar voice echoed down the corridor. She rolled her eyes as she realized it was Potter's gang. Avery's arm left her body, as they saw that it was Severus who was in trouble from Sirius Black. Both Sirius and Severus had their wands drawn, looking angrily at each other. "I believe James asked you to leave Lily alone," Syrulia heard Sirius practically growl. "I only wanted to try to mend…" Severus was cut off by the rising whisper of the word 'Professor'.

Quickly the group scattered and everyone went their normal way, everyone except for Severus, of course. He leaned back against the wall, his head hung, the stringy black hair a curtain covering his face. "He's been trying to apologize to Lily Evans again, hasn't he," Syrulia whispered to Avery. Avery didn't really acknowledge her, but instead headed for his friend. "All right, Snape?" he asked in his 'manly voice'. Quickly Severus straightened up, his face disguising the pain and embarrassment Syrulia was sure he felt inside.

"Of course I am," Severus said in a slightly colder tone than normal. "Let's go then," Syrulia hissed at the pair, motioning to the approaching Professor Slughorn. He had definitely heard the commotion from his office and had headed towards the hallway. The three of them quickly entered the Slytherin common room, just before they heard Slughorn getting on to some first years lingering outside. The door shut tightly behind them and they made their way to a seating area just inside the door. Mulciber and the rest of the Slytherin 7th years were gathered around discussing something.

"He is accepting us as soon as we finish the year," Syrulia heard Mulciber say to the others. Avery harshly grasped Syrulia's wrist, causing her to wince slightly. "Go change," he demanded, his eyes telling her that he was very serious. "Alright," she murmured, walking quickly past the others towards the girls' dormitory. "Severus, will you be joining with us," she heard another voice inquire. Syrulia's heart dropped into her stomach as she gathered what they were speaking about. She slowed, hoping to hear Severus' answer. 'Please say no, please say no', she repeated to herself. "Yes," his voice declared. Her heart stopped as she pushed open the door to the dormitory hall.


	5. Chapter 5

V.

She sat on the edge of her bed trying to gather what was happening. They _had_ been speaking about the Dark Lord, hadn't they? She wasn't imagining it. That must be the reason why Avery had sent her away from the group. Was Severus seriously going to join the ranks of followers? Was Avery? "No, no, no," she whispered to herself. 'That can't be it,' she thought, 'you're just imagining it.'

Syrulia quickly changed into a plain black dress, pulling a sweater over it, and made her way back out to the common room. As she came out Avery quickly walked over to her, "Lets go sit by the fire." He wrapped his arm around her waist again, and guided her to the nearby fireplace. They sat on the couch, Avery pulling her against him. "What about the others, don't you want to converse with them," she questioned. "Don't worry about them," the annoyance was clear in his response. He didn't like that she was asking about the others.

He relaxed against the corner of the couch, her head resting lightly on his chest. He gently stroked her hair, and she felt herself relaxing. But she couldn't help that nagging suspicion in the back of her mind, and (against her better judgment) decided to push the subject further. "Avery," she said softly. "Yes," he grunted. There was silence for a moment, while Syrulia gathered the courage to ask. Finally she blurted out, "Are you joining with Voldemort's followers?"

She could feel his body tense, heat beginning to rise from him, and finally he shoved her off of him. Her eyes widened in horror as he stood suddenly, true anger on his face. This was not like when he had hurt her before, his face then had held some semblance of his normal, calm self, but this… this was different. It was almost animalistic the way his face was contorted. As suddenly as he had stood up, his arm raised and he struck Syrulia across the face with the back of his hand. The sound was completely audible to those in the common room who turned to look. "Don't you ever say that name," he spat, "don't you ever ask me that again. It is of no concern to you." With that he stormed off to the boys' dormitories.

Syrulia held her face where he had struck her. It stung with such fierceness that tears welled up in her eyes. Through the blurriness she could tell that the others were staring at her. She could hear them whispering, and her face burned anew with the embarrassment of it all. This was the first time he had hit her in front of people. Her heart raced as she stood up slowly and made her way around the obstacles of furniture towards her own dormitory. She could feel the eyes on her back, drilling holes into her. She wanted to never leave her room again.


	6. Chapter 6

VI.

The following day Syrulia stayed confined inside the fortress of her four-poster bed, with the curtains drawn tightly closed. She lay facing the canopy again, her cheek still stinging. She had decided against trying to heal the wound, feeling that she indeed deserved it. The ring that Avery had been wearing had slightly cut into her cheek as he slapped her, and she hadn't even bothered to stop the bleeding before hiding herself away in her bed. She knew the blood had smeared everywhere, but she didn't really care. She had stopped crying sometime during the night, but continued to stare emotionlessly at the nothingness above her.

As she began to drift to sleep a loud noise caused her to jolt back to consciousness. "Syrulia," a voice called out. It was an unfamiliar voice, female, of course. The same voice called again, and this time Syrulia decided to answer. "What," her voice came out coolly. "Avery sent me in to ask if you would join him in the common room," the girl explained. Syrulia pulled the curtain aside slightly to see who the girl was. 'Just a first year', Syrulia thought. The girl noticed the cut on Syrulia's cheek and looked away quickly.

With a sigh Syrulia sat up, "Tell him I will be out shortly." The girl nodded, and returned out the door. Syrulia pulled the curtain to the corner of the bed and let her feet dangle over the side of the bed. She reached up and felt the scab formed on her cheek. Making her way to the basin in the middle of the room, she quickly added water and dipped a clean towel into the bowl. She lightly cleaned her wound and the rest of her face. She couldn't decide if she wanted to heal the wound or not. Finally she decided to do so, not wanting to further her embarrassment.

She was not the best at charms, so instead opted for an herbal paste. Smearing the paste on the wound she could instantly feel the tingling subsiding. She went about changing into a pair of pants and a sweater, pulling a pair of boots over her already sock covered feet. She finally wiped off the paste, looking in the mirror as she did so. To her dismay a light colored, thin line remained. 'This is why I'm not a healer,' she thought to herself angrily. She wanted to cry, but knew that it would do no good.

Finally she headed out to the common room. Immediately she spotted Severus sitting in a corner opposite the doorway. He had been reading a book, but looked up as the door closed behind her. She could see his eyes widen slightly, although he quickly controlled himself. Syrulia felt her heart fall again, and wished she had refused Avery. She still wanted to hide, but knew that it would be best not to anger him further. "Syrulia," his voice echoed across the room. She turned to see Avery waving her over to the same couch they had shared the night before. Her face burned looking at that spot, and him sitting there.

As she approached his look changed from calm to concerned. Syrulia sat next to him, as she had the night before. This time however, Avery looked around the room, then slowly slid off the couch and kneeled in front of her. "Are you okay," he started, raising his hand towards her face slowly. Although it had been a slow movement, Syrulia could not help but flinch away from him, her cheek tingling slightly in memory. Syrulia opened her eyes to see Avery looking up at her sadly, his hand fallen to his side.

"I am so sorry," he whispered. "It was an accident," Syrulia announced, full-heartedly, deciding this to be the best answer for the situation. Avery reached for her face again, and this time Syrulia allowed it. His thumb slowly traced the line now etched in her skin, as she closed her eyes again. She felt his fingertips gently slide down her cheek to her neck and then to her collarbone. "My beautiful, Syrulia," he whispered, pressing his face against her thigh.

After what seemed like forever, Avery finally stood up. "Would you still care to go on that date," he asked her. Syrulia's eyebrows furrowed involuntarily as she thought about it. "I don't know," she hesitated. Avery smirked, "I have a better plan, than before". Syrulia's heart started to beat a little bit faster wondering what it could be. "Okay," she conceded. Avery offered her his hand, and she took it. He led her from the room, and out into the main entryway of the castle. As they exited the castle Syrulia became even more curious about what they were doing.

Finally he led her to a blanket at the edge of the lake. "Please, have a seat," he insisted. Syrulia sat down on the pillow in front of her, tucking her legs to one side. Avery sat down opposite her, and no sooner had he done so than a basket suddenly appeared on the blanket before them. "Right on time," Avery smirked. "A picnic," Syrulia exclaimed with a wide grin. "I'm glad you like it," Avery commented. The rest of the afternoon was lovely. They dined on lovely food (Syrulia assumed it was made by the Hogwarts elves), Avery lovingly held Syrulia as they looked out across the lake, the sunset soon lit the water in a wonderful display, and Syrulia forgot all about the scar that now graced her cheek… and her heart.


	7. Chapter 7

VII.

A few days had passed when Avery insisted that he had to study in the library with Mulciber. He had sworn to her that he would be doing his own work from then on, as a payment to her for the mistake he had made in hitting her. After having a lovely day previously, Syrulia had a hard time wanting to let Avery out of her sight. He was being his old self again. Lovingly touching her, saying kind things to her, and nothing rough had happened since that fateful slap. She was worried that if they parted, this all would be undone and he would return to that irritable person he had been for the past year.

"Please stay here with me," Syrulia practically begged. "I can't," Avery said, smirking down at her. "But I will help you study," she offered, tightening her hug. His arms tightened around her too, as he leaned down to kiss her. "I promise I will behave," he chuckled. Syrulia pouted, but nodded in allowance. "That's my girl," Avery said with a smile. They let go of each other and Avery left the Slytherin common room. Syrulia turned back to the empty room, but found that it was no longer empty. Severus had just come out of the boys' dormitory, and was now approaching her.

"I wish you would have let me take care of that for you," he said motioning to her face. Syrulia had completely forgotten about the scar, and now at the mention of it she absentmindedly reached up to touch the fine line there. A knot formed in her stomach as she thought about it and looked into Severus' dark eyes staring down at her. "It's not that bad," she finally murmured. Severus scoffed, "I could definitely have done better." "I'm sure," Syrulia stated in a tone that was quite odd, not really sarcastic, but not fully admitting.

"I also think you shouldn't be so trusting of him," Severus added quickly. This time Syrulia scoffed, moving past Severus to sit down in an armchair. She sat in it sideways, throwing her legs over the side, relaxing slightly. Severus sat across from her, staring at her intently. "I'm serious," he said, a hint of urgency in his voice. "Why shouldn't I trust him," Syrulia shrugged. "He's continuously hurting you, and you keep allowing it. You are making excuses for him. And it's only going to get worse," Severus insisted.

Syrulia sat up, turning to face Severus, "What do you mean?" "What I mean," Severus started, but decided to see if anyone else was spying on them. When he found the room to still be empty, he continued in a lowered tone, "He is planning to join the Dark Lord. I have seen what it does to people, the power it gives. Do you think he won't allow that power to overflow and hurt you?" Syrulia was shocked. She was getting the answers she had wanted that night, but didn't like what she was hearing any more than she had imagined she would.

"What about you, then," she asked, "Didn't I overhear you admitting that you too would join?" Severus' face darkened. He didn't respond immediately, but Syrulia was patient. She eyed him, knowingly, and he knew that she would continue to question him. "Yes," he admitted, "I do plan to." "Is that why Lily is so mad at you," she questioned further. At this Severus' face turned fully dark, and he quickly stood up, turning to leave.

"Please, Severus," Syrulia pleaded, "Don't go. I have no one else to talk to about this." When it seamed like he wouldn't stay, she added, "I'm sorry. It was not my place to mention her." With this comment Severus turned back to look at Syrulia. Her silvery blue eyes stared up at him hopefully, the deep sadness ever present there. He sighed and returned to the seat in front of her. "You are right, however," he finally admitted. "She doesn't know what she is missing," Syrulia said suddenly. Severus was not sure he knew what she was referring to.

Syrulia could tell that he didn't get what she was saying, so she decided to explain her reasoning. "Even if you joined the Dark Lord, she doesn't know how lucky she would be to have you," Syrulia admitted. Severus' brow furrowed, showing his confusion only growing. "You are smart, brilliant really, calm under pressure, loyal, and although you present a cold exterior, I can sense that you are kind… no… I know that you are kind," Syrulia declared. No sooner had the words left her lips, than she instantly regretted being so open about how she herself felt about Severus.

His eyes did not give away his emotions this time, although inside he was indeed feeling something new. His heart beat faster as Syrulia spoke such things about him as he had only dreamt of hearing from Lily's lips. This girl staring at him held him in much higher regard than he himself had. How could someone who was so damaged by another human, still be so open to the goodness of others?

"I'm sorry," she stammered, breaking through his thoughts. "Don't be," Severus insisted, "I appreciate hearing it. Although, I am unsure of my deserving such kindness." Syrulia looked taken aback, "You help me heal all the time… and you're my only friend besides Avery." This time Severus was the one taken aback. He had completely forgotten about Avery as he sat speaking to _his_ girlfriend, hearing her speak so highly about himself. It seemed very wrong suddenly, but Severus didn't want to simply run away from this fragile girl.

As if she could sense what he had been thinking, Syrulia suddenly apologized again, only this time adding, "for making you feel uncomfortable. It was not my intention." Severus nodded in thankfulness and acknowledgement. She was a very witty girl, for someone who allowed her boyfriend to beat on her. Severus wondered why she didn't stand up for herself. Suddenly he felt the need to ask. "Why do you let him beat on you? Why don't you do something about it? You're smart, too smart to just let this keep happening."

Syrulia blushed at this compliment, and then her eyes dropped to her lap. "As I said, you and Avery are my only friends. For a long time it was just Avery." She paused, collecting her thoughts, and then continued, "I just don't want to be alone again. And I don't have the strength to fight someone who has been my friend, especially him." Severus was dumbfounded. How had he not noticed her being alone?

Now that he thought back on it, he did remember her on the train to Hogwarts their first year. She had sat quietly in the dining car, looking over a textbook as he and Lily had passed through to another carriage. He then remembered her being sorted into Slytherin rather quietly, and sitting down in a largely empty space at the end of the long row of tables. Then he realized that he had never seen her with another girl, or for that matter speaking with much of anyone else besides Avery and himself.

"Even before Hogwarts, you had no friends?" Severus questioned. She smiled weakly, "I was too shy. And being a half-blood I was never around other witches and wizards, but the muggles were always too intimidated or scared to really be my friends. Children notice magic much more easily than adults." Severus' head reeled with this new information. He thought he had been the only one to be so alone. That was his reason for seeking out Avery and the others. He didn't want to be alone in his search for power. He had never realized how much he and Syrulia had in common.


	8. Chapter 8

VIII.

As the weeks passed, Avery continued to spend more time outside of the common room studying, and Syrulia spent more time with Severus. She told him more about her childhood and her parents. How her mother had been a member of the pureblood Selwyn family, but had abandoned her status to marry a muggle man. Severus felt more and more kindred to Syrulia. They had quite a bit more in common than he had first realized.

Syrulia was incredibly smart, although she had little faith in her abilities with magic. He learned that this stemmed from her home life, where her father chastised the use of magic. Severus felt that their story could not have been more similar. One big difference, however, was the fact that Syrulia's parents were hopelessly in love. The only intimidation going on in the household was that between Syrulia's father and her. Severus imagined this was another cause of her willingness to forgive Avery.

On a rainy Tuesday evening, Avery kissed Syrulia goodbye and left for his normal study session. Syrulia quickly joined Severus by the fire, hoping to ask more questions about him. He had rarely spoken about himself, but had instead listened intently as she had pretty much told her life's story. As she sat down next to him on the couch, her arm lightly brushed against his. She felt him tense up, and apologized immediately. "I was hoping you would tell more about your family today," she said with a small smile. Severus finished the line he had been reading and then looked up to see Syrulia's eyes intently looking over his face.

He sighed, closed the book and laid it on the table in front of him. He had known that she would eventually start asking about him, but had not been ready for it. "There is not much to tell really," he started, "my parents hate each other, and my father hates me even more." Syrulia's eyebrows furrowed. "I'm sure that's not true," she said reassuringly. Severus shook his head, looking down at her, "He very much does. He makes sure I know it as often as he can."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Syrulia said, looking down at her lap. Severus could see that she was really bothered by this, and his heart skipped a beat at this thought. "I don't mind it though," Severus added, trying to cheer her back up. She looked up, and their eyes met. Syrulia felt her whole body tingle, feeling as though he was staring into her soul. Severus quickly looked away, feeling that she might change him more than she already had. He had been so focused on gaining power and proving his Prince blood, and then she had gone distracting him more. He had already been so preoccupied with Lily Evans, anxious about the fact that she no longer wished to be his friend, and now he was anxious about his thoughts of Syrulia. He felt more conflicted than he had ever felt before. Everything had been so easy before he had taken notice of Syrulia for the first time.

He remembered that day, when she had come to sit beside Avery. They had all been talking, Avery, Mulciber, and himself. When she tried to interject into the conversation, Avery had leaned over and whispered something in her ear. The look on her face when he pulled away was the strangest look Severus had ever seen. It was the look of someone completely horrified, but also dejected and embarrassed. Syrulia had then quickly apologized to the group and disappeared into the girls' dormitory. Only a week later was the first time Severus had seen Avery physically attack the girl, shoving her against a wall rather harshly. He had been so shocked by these two events that he didn't know what to do, and he had wondered about her ever since.

She was right when she said that he had helped her to heal multiple times. He remembered every single one, although he had not been witness to most of the attacks, he always assumed it had been Avery's doing. It almost made him sick to think about it, but he had been too caught up in trying to get Lily's attention to think about helping Syrulia. Only during this term had he really became close to her, and begin to wonder if he should do something. However, his need for these acquaintances continued to stop him from trying to. Avery was technically his friend long before Syrulia had been, and who was he to interject. Especially since she seemed to not want him to.


	9. Chapter 9

IX.

The following evening Severus was nowhere to be found in the common room. Syrulia began to feel bored, sitting there by herself. She had already finished all of her assignments, so she was simply lounging in front of the fire staring into it. Finally boredom got the better of her, and she decided to go look for either Avery or Severus. She wondered past a group of first years entering the common room giggling, and then made her way down the corridor to the stairs. As she reached the top of the stairwell she heard a familiar sound. It was Avery's amused chuckle, but something about it sounded odd.

Syrulia felt confused, and as she rounded the corner in search of him she spotted two dark figures in the shadow of an empty classroom doorway. The castle was so dimly lit in this corridor that she could not make out who was there or what they were doing. She slowly moved closer to the doorway, hoping to see who was there. As she got closer she was shocked by what she saw.

Avery was there, but no study partner. Instead she found Avery leaning against the wall, a strange girl snogging him with her hand down his trousers. She couldn't help but gasp as she took in the scene, and the sound caused Avery to open his eyes. He saw her standing there and realized he had been caught. Tears blinded Syrulia as she turned and ran towards the Slytherin common room. She barely managed to utter the password through her growing sobs.

Trying to hide her face she made a b-line for the girls dorms. However a strong hand grasped her arm, suddenly turning her to the side. Her heart skipped a beat as she imagined it was Avery already having caught up to her. When she looked up she found Severus instead. He looked down at her, his eyes barely concealing his concern. "What happened," Severus inquired. Syrulia couldn't speak, all she could do was force a weak smile and shake her head. Severus' grip loosened immediately, and she pulled away from him, fleeing to the safety of her bed once more.


	10. Chapter 10

X.

In the morning, Syrulia didn't move, she just woke up and resumed crying into her pillow. The other girls all left for breakfast, but Syrulia just pulled the blanket up higher over her head. She was allowed sick days, and she decided that this would be one of them. As many times as Avery had hurt her, this was definitely the most pain she had felt. Her heart felt as though it were imploding, her stomach cramped, and she felt nauseous. She couldn't stop crying, even when she tried. The image of Avery with that girl just kept popping into her mind.

Around lunch, the nurse came up to the room to check on Syrulia as she had missed several classes. "What's wrong child," the nurse asked. "I don't know," Syrulia lied. "Well there must be something going on," the nurse pressed further. "I just feel nauseous and light headed," Syrulia partially admitted. "All right, dearie," the nurse said in a calming tone. She pulled out a bottle from her bag and handed it to Syrulia. "This will help you sleep it off," the nurse explained. "I want you to take the potion, and at dinner time a house elf will bring you a meal. You really should eat something, it will help the light headedness." Syrulia nodded, and before the nurse left she sat and watched Syrulia drink a glass of water. "To be sure you don't dehydrate," she confirmed.

Syrulia was glad when the nurse finally left, but actually did feel a bit better. She had stopped crying, and now that she could breathe thoroughly, she felt less nauseous. Her stomach and heart continued to feel horrible, however, so she took the potion as directed. She felt she could not sleep long enough at this point, and welcomed the effect of the potion.

Suddenly Syrulia awoke. It felt as though her body had been on pause, she did not remember falling asleep and had awoken so suddenly that it didn't feel like she had slept at all. She soon realized that the house elf had already delivered her dinner, so she sat up to look at it. As soon as she sat up she once again felt the horrible pain in her heart, and tears began to well up again. She couldn't eat the meal, she realized, so she scooted it to the far side of her table and looked out the small window through her blurry eyes, the murky green of the lake calming her.


	11. Chapter 11

XI.

The following morning Syrulia woke up feeling rather well rested, considering how horribly she had felt the day before. Her heart still hurt, but she made herself get out of bed. She knew that she couldn't stay hidden away forever, and would have to confront Avery at some point. She quickly changed into her uniform and followed the other girls downstairs for breakfast. She did not spot Avery at the breakfast table, so she sat by herself at the table and munched on a very dry piece of toast. She managed to get down two bites before she started to feel sick again.

Abandoning the toast on her plate, she made her way to her first class of the day. As she exited the Great Hall Severus approached her. "Avery is looking for you," he informed her. "Oh great," Syrulia grumbled. "I didn't tell him I had spotted you," Severus said. "Thanks for that," Syrulia said with a slight smile, then quickly added, "I'm not sure I'm ready to see him yet. I don't know what to do." Severus just nodded in acknowledgement and walked quietly with Syrulia to the classroom.

Right before the start of class Avery showed up. As he entered the room, he spotted Syrulia and slowly approached her. "Do you mind if I sit with you," he quietly asked her. "I would rather you didn't," she squeaked. Avery looked dejectedly at her, and then his face contorted into anger again. "Avery," Mulciber called from behind them. Avery turned around and saw that the professor had entered the classroom. He dared not touch her in class, so he went to sit across the room next to Mulciber.

During the entire class Syrulia could feel Avery's eyes on the back of her head, hatefully drilling into her. Her heart beat painfully and fast as she tried to concentrate on the lecture. She could see Severus seated at the front of the room, jotting notes as the professor spoke. Syrulia wanted to do the same, but could not force herself to do so. Instead she tried doodling in the margins of her book to help focus her thoughts away from Avery.

When the period ended, Syrulia quickly gathered her things and rushed out the door past Avery and Mulciber. Severus turned around just in time to see her disappear out the door, and then he saw the look on Avery's face. He worried what was going to happen when he caught up to her. Severus didn't like imagining this, so he focused on gathering his own things.

Syrulia hurried to the next classroom and sat near the front where the professor was already preparing for the class to start. She dared not turn around to see Avery enter. This was the most afraid she had ever been, and she almost wished she had stayed in bed again. She buried her head in her book, trying to look busy. Suddenly she heard the chair next to her slide out. She looked to see who it was and found Avery sitting next to her, with Mulciber on his other side. The look on Avery's face made her more afraid. He no longer looked angry, but was smirking.

Luckily for Syrulia, she had sat in the front, and Severus soon joined them, sitting on Syrulia's opposite side. Just having him there made her feel safer. "Severus," Avery greeted him normally. "Avery, Mulciber," Severus greeted in return. They all looked down at their books now, as Syrulia's heart continued to beat harder. She felt as though it was about to burst forth from her chest.

As soon as the professor started talking, Syrulia felt Avery's hand slide under the desk and grasp her leg sharply. She tensed, and looked out of the corner of her eye at him. His smirk only grew as he continued to look down at his book. Syrulia felt so confused and frightened. She realized she was holding her breath and forced herself to take a deep one, exhaling slowly. Her heart calmed slightly with this, and she felt a bit better. What was the worst that could happen? Hadn't she already been through so much pain? Avery seemed not to want to leave her alone. She decided that during their lunch break she would simply talk this over with him to get it over with.


	12. Chapter 12

XII.

As the period ended, Avery's grip tightened on her leg. It was as though he thought he could hold her to the spot just like that. She winced in pain slightly, but turned to look at him. "Let's go somewhere to talk," he said in a rather demanding tone. Syrulia nodded, and he let go of her leg. The pair stood up, walking past Severus as he cleaned up his belongings. Severus noticed the desperate look in her eyes, but did not know what to do. Mulciber began a conversation with him just as Syrulia and Avery exited the classroom.

Once they were in the hall Avery roughly grabbed Syrulia's wrist and led her into a dark, empty classroom. "Where do you get off being so dismissive to me," Avery started in immediately. "I saw you with that girl, I know damned well you saw me," Syrulia almost yelled. "That wasn't what it looked like," he said in a calmer tone. "Well it looked like you were cheating on me," Syrulia declared. "That girl means nothing to me," Avery stated. "And do I mean so little," she exclaimed. "Of course not," Avery said as he reached for her.

Syrulia backed away, "Explain yourself." The room was silent for a moment as Avery thought about what to say. "It just sort of happened," he started. "I was studying in the library to start with, as I had told you. At some point I began speaking to that girl. She was very flirtatious. It had been so long since you and I had been passionate that… I gave in to temptation." Syrulia's brows were furrowed as she looked at him.

"Was this the first time," she questioned. Avery stared at her for a moment, not sure what to tell her. "The truth," Syrulia cautioned. Avery shook his head, looking down at his feet.

Syrulia collapsed into a chair, burying her face in her hands. He could see her sobbing. "I promise it means nothing," he said trying to calm her down. When she didn't stop sobbing he added, "I already told her we wouldn't be seeing each other again." Syrulia looked up; tear stains already on her cheeks. "How could you," she hissed. Suddenly Avery became angry. "What the bloody hell was I supposed to do," he shouted, "we haven't had sex in over a year. And you're always so useless. Even now you're being so dramatic about something so stupid." At this Syrulia sobbed even harder. "Oh knock it off," Avery barked.

She couldn't stop, how could he be doing this to her? Hadn't she been ever so subservient? Now he was blaming her. Maybe he was right… maybe it was her fault, she thought. This made her cry harder, doubling over in emotional anguish. Suddenly Avery struck her across the face, causing her to fly out of the chair. In shock her crying stopped. "I told you to stop," Avery growled as he lifted her to her feet. She looked at him in anger, and he didn't like it. He shoved her back against the wall, his arm across her chest. "Quit being such a dramatic bitch all the time," he hissed in her ear. With this he let her go, and she collapsed onto the floor. He quickly left the room, leaving Syrulia sobbing on the floor again.


	13. Chapter 13

XIII.

Syrulia finally managed to stop crying and made her way to the closest girls' bathroom. She quietly cleaned her face, and straightened her robes, dusting them off. She didn't really know what to do now, so she headed for her next class. As she made her way up the stairs, a familiar voice called out to her, breaking her out of her trance. "Oh, hello Severus," she said as she turned to face him. "Hello," he snorted, "Is that all you have to say? What happened?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Syrulia said, turning back towards the stairs. Severus followed her as she began climbing again. "Between you and Avery," he questioned. "Nothing," she answered dishonestly. As they reached the top of the staircase Severus reached out to stop her. "Mulciber told me what Avery did, I can see why you are upset" he admitted to her. Syrulia turned to him, a slight look of annoyance on her face. "I shouldn't be upset, and you should also know it was entirely my fault," she informed. Severus who was normally very good at hiding his emotion could not mask his surprise and disgust.

"How could any of that be your fault," Severus snapped. Syrulia shook her head, looking away from him. "You don't understand," she whispered. "I can't understand if you don't tell me," Severus said more gently as he came around to face her. She looked up into his dark eyes and felt like crying again. "I'm just not giving enough. I'm always so dramatic, and make him out to be the bad guy. But the truth is I'm just as bad, if not worse," Syrulia stated. Severus' eyebrows furrowed as he tried to accept what she had just said. How could she really believe this?

"He is brainwashing you," Severus said in disgust. "No, it's just the truth," she mumbled in reply. "It's so far from the truth, it's insane," Severus insisted. "It doesn't matter," Syrulia said. "He's the only one to care for me." With this she walked off towards the classroom. Severus just stood in the landing dumbfounded. How could she really believe this, he thought. His heart hurt thinking about her and this situation, and then he realized that he hadn't thought about Lily this way in weeks. He felt guilty and confused, and didn't know what to do.


	14. Chapter 14

XIV.

As the weeks passed and Christmas break drew nearer, Avery and Syrulia's relationship seemed back to normal. Well, as normal as it had been the past year. Avery still became easily angered, and Syrulia put up with it as usual. She was slowly breaking out of the self-loathing trance that she had been in, and was beginning to warm back up and smile more again. Although they hadn't spoken since the incidence in the stairwell, Severus was happy that Syrulia seemed to be feeling better.

The week before holiday they all sat studying in the common room. Avery announced that he would be returning home for the break and Mulciber said that he too would be returning home. "I guess that leaves you to look after my Syrulia," Avery said, addressing Severus. "I will do my best," Severus said in his dry tone. Syrulia felt her heart rise into her throat again, thinking about being alone with Severus. Avery and Mulciber only laughed, thinking Severus' response quite the joke.

Holiday came quicker than Syrulia had anticipated, and she was soon saying goodbye to Avery. "Be a good girl," he whispered to her as she hugged him tightly. They kissed one last time, before Avery and Mulciber made their way down the steps, joining the group heading towards the train station. Syrulia pulled her scarf up closer to her face against the cold winter air, and turned to go back inside.

Just inside the door she found Severus waiting for her. "Care to join me for dinner," he asked her. She nodded, giving him a small smile. They entered the Great Hall finding only one long table set up for dinner. Syrulia and Severus were two of five Slytherin students staying behind for the holiday, and were among only 50 students to stay behind. This made things much more intimate, as the teachers joined students at the table for the meal.

After a hearty dinner and conversation with Professor Slughorn, Syrulia and Severus escaped an invitation to stay and play games, and headed for the quiet of the Slytherin common room. Once inside they were completely alone. "It is eerily quiet in here," Syrulia commented. "It's nice," Severus said coolly. "Of course you would think so," she giggled, smiling largely at him.

They sat in front of the fireplace just staring into the blazing fire. Severus noticed that Syrulia was shivering slightly and pulled out his wand, transfiguring a blanket out of a newspaper that had been lying on the table. He pulled it over the top of her, and she quickly snuggled up under it. "Thank you," she said sleepily. Syrulia felt so tired, she wasn't sure if it was the coldness of the room, the winter storm brewing outside, or the comfort of the blanket, but she really felt as though she could fall asleep.

Before he knew what was happening, Severus found Syrulia snuggling close against him. He tensed up, but soon realized she was asleep. He melted into her, pulling the blanket over him as well. He breathed in the scent of her, herbs, spices, and the slightest hint of rose. It was comforting, and yet he felt his heart racing. He thought about her, and then about how Avery wouldn't like this, and finally he thought about Lily. 'How can I betray you so,' he thought. Finally with her face in his mind he too drifted off to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

XV.

The sound of the door opening caused Syrulia to start awake. She quickly realized that she was snuggled against Severus and people were entering the common room. Sitting up to put some distance between them, she managed to accidently nudge Severus awake. He groggily looked around and spotted the group of three Slytherin first years entering the room together. They waved to the seventh years as they passed towards the dormitories. Syrulia waved back before yawning loudly.

"Sorry," she apologized for the yawn. Severus just nodded in reply, feeling slightly embarrassed about having fallen asleep on the couch with Syrulia. He was just glad that she had woken him up before the first years returned. "Perhaps we should turn in for the night," Syrulia suggested. "A good idea," Severus said laying the blanket on the table and transfiguring it back into the newspaper. Syrulia stood up, stretching. Severus looked over and noticed her shirt had slightly risen to reveal dark looking bruises. His brow furrowed, but he said nothing, as Syrulia had not noticed him looking.

She said goodnight to him, before slowly making her way to the girls' dormitory. Severus stood, slowly walking to the boys' side as well. He couldn't help but think about how his hatred of Avery was growing every time he saw a new mark on Syrulia. He realized that his loyalty was no longer with Avery, but with Syrulia. 'I have to do something,' he thought as he kicked off his shoes and climbed into bed. He didn't know what to do, but he couldn't just let this keep happening.

Syrulia laid staring out the window by her bed, listening to the waves as the snowstorm blew in full force. She hoped that the snowing would stop so they could perhaps go outside tomorrow for an adventure. She loved snow, and always enjoyed making snow angels as a child. It had been a very long time since she had gotten to do that, and she was excited just thinking about it. She hoped that Severus would join her, even though she was pretty sure he wouldn't.


	16. Chapter 16

XVI.

Syrulia awoke to the sound of giggling. She sat up and groggily looked around the room, trying to find the culprit. She noticed the two first year girls rushing past the doorway, and wondered what was going on. Syrulia quickly changed into her warmest clothes and headed out into the common room. Spotting Severus by the fire, Syrulia made her way over to greet him. "Good morning," Syrulia beamed at him. She had slept wonderfully for the first time in ages, and was in a very cheerful mood. "Good morning," Severus said drily.

"Care to go to breakfast," she asked him. Severus looked up at her smiling face and nodded. The two made their way up to the Great Hall and found a handful of students already seated enjoying their food. They quickly enjoyed some muffins and pumpkin juice before heading back into the Entrance Hall. "Care to go for a stroll," Syrulia asked Severus. He was a silent for a moment, pondering whether he should or not. "Please," Syrulia pleaded. "Oh, all right," he conceded.

The pair fetched their cloaks from their rooms before heading out into the bright, cold day. The snow was almost knee deep, but a path had already been created around the castle. Syrulia led Severus down one of these paths, stopping before the lake to look out at the semi-frozen water. "It's so beautiful," she sighed happily. Severus looked at her standing there smiling, before looking out over the water. "Yes," he said in his normal tone. Syrulia turned to see him looking out over the lake now. She hoped he was enjoying it as much as she was; it was hard to tell with his emotional shield up.

Suddenly Syrulia plopped over into the snow and started waving her arms and legs back and forth, creating the signature snow angel. "You are going to get all wet," Severus, stated. "And," Syrulia questioned with a giggle. "You're going to freeze," Severus sounded a little annoyed. "Come on, join me," Syrulia laughed, patting the snow next to her. Severus shook his head, looking back at the lake. Suddenly he felt her hand grab his and pull him down into the snow. "Syrulia," he snapped, sitting up quickly. "Oh come on, don't be such a worrywart," Syrulia smirked. She threw a bit of snow at him, and with this he finally smiled slightly. He tossed snow back at her, and thus began their snow fight.

Dodging in and out of the trees, they continued to fling snow at each other. Syrulia managed to hit Severus a couple of times, before he accidently hit her right in the forehead. She was so shocked that she fell backwards. Embarrassed she lay back in the snow. Severus rushed up to her, "Are you okay?" "Yes," Syrulia giggled. Severus knelt down to check her forehead, and before he knew it she had shoved a handful of snow in his face. "Syrulia," Severus gasped, flinging more snow onto her. She grabbed onto his cloak, pulling him down into the snow next to her. They began to roll around; still flinging snow on each other, before they were finally too wore out to move again. They both lay in the snow looking up at the sky, which was now becoming cloudy and grey.

Suddenly, Severus felt Syrulia's cold hand grasp his, and his heart began to race. He sat up looking down at her. Her eyes were closed and she was smiling blissfully. She looked so beautiful to him then, cheeks and nose red from the cold, snow glittering on her eyebrows and hair. Before he knew what he was doing he leaned down and kissed her. Syrulia's eyes burst open as she suddenly felt his lips on hers. As the surprise faded away, Syrulia deepened the kiss, her hand finding its way into his hair, pulling him down slightly. The kiss was extremely passionate, and Syrulia's whole body tingled as he suddenly pulled away.

"I'm sorry," Severus apologized turning away from her. Syrulia didn't know what to say for a moment, was he really sorry or did he actually have feelings for her? "Are you actually sorry," Syrulia inquired, breathily. "Of course I am," Severus sounded taken aback, "it should never have happened." With this he quickly walked away back towards the castle. Syrulia stared after him for a long time before lying back in the snow again. She didn't know how long she had been lying there before it started snowing again. As the flakes fell on her face, she felt her heart hurt once again.


	17. Chapter 17

XVII.

The next morning Syrulia woke up with a cold. She felt as though her head were full of concrete and it pounded when she sat up. "Blah," she groaned, forcing herself to get up. She didn't bother dressing, but instead pulled her night robe on and made her way to the infirmary. As she exited the female dorms she bumped into someone. Rubbing her eyes, she finally looked up to find Severus in front of her. "Sorry," she managed to squeak, before heading towards the door. "Syrulia," he called after her. She turned to look at him, but didn't say anything. Her head was pounding more, and she was thankful that the common room was dark.

"Where are you going," Severus asked. "The infirmary," Syrulia stated, pinching the bridge of her nose against the pain. "The healers have all gone since it is Christmas Eve," Severus informed her. "Uuuhhhh," Syrulia groaned, dropping down into the nearest chair. "I told you not to lay in the snow," Severus chastised. Syrulia didn't say anything, she just leaned her head back against the chair trying to be able to breathe. Severus' brows furrowed as he realized Syrulia truly must be feeling ill. He reached out and touched her forehead with the back of his hand. "You're burning up," he stated. "I feel like I'm dying," she confirmed.

Before she knew what was happening, Severus had scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the couch. He quickly pulled a blanket over her, and bunched the pillow up under her head. "I will go and see if Professor Slughorn is still here. Perhaps he will have some Pepperup Potion," Severus said coolly. "Nooo," Syrulia groaned. "You will get better faster," Severus urged. "I don't want steaming ears," Syrulia murmured. "Oh, come now," Severus, said sounding annoyed. "Fine," Syrulia groaned.

Severus left to find Professor Slughorn, and returned a few moments later with a tiny vial of potion. "Take this," Severus said, holding the bottle out for Syrulia. She reluctantly took the potion and downed the entire contents of the vial. She started to feel a tingling sensation in her sinus, and it began to clear. After only a few minutes she started being able to breathe again. Her headache was beginning to subside as well. Then she felt it happen… that horrible side effect of the Pepperup Potion. Steam poured out of her ears, and she pouted heavily. "How un-cute," Syrulia whined, pouting. She finally looked over to Severus and realized that he was trying to conceal his laughter. She threw the blanket at him, "It's not funny." "It is, actually," he chuckled now uncontrollably. Syrulia blushed wildly, feeling embarrassed and mad. "It is actually quite cute though," Severus muttered. Syrulia looked back up at him, and smiled.

Severus brought Syrulia some soup during lunch to help her finish healing up, and she was no longer spewing steam from her ears. She confided that she felt much better already and wanted to attend the Christmas Eve festivities. Severus talked her into going back to bed for a nap, promising that he would wake her up for the Christmas Eve dinner. As she slept she dreamt about Severus.

Syrulia woke up to knocking, and soon realized that it was coming from the doorway to the girls' dormitories. Without thinking she quickly went to see whom it was. Pulling the door aside, she found Severus standing there hand raised ready to knock again. She quickly realized that his eyes had traveled down her body; looking at the rather revealing pajamas she was wearing. "Sorry," she apologized, hiding herself behind the door slightly. Severus shook his head, and then said, " It's almost time for dinner." "Oh, thank you," Syrulia smiled, "I will be right out."

She went back into the 7th year room and quickly changed into a green dress she had already picked out, along with black tights, black boots, and a black cardigan. She used a beautifying charm on her hair and for a slight makeup look, then made her way back out to the common room. As she opened the door, Severus was immediately dumbfounded. He had thought she was quite pretty before, but now she looked like a Slytherin queen. "Good evening," Syrulia said, blushing because of the look on his face. She thought he looked quite dashing. He wore black slacks, which seamed to fit haphazardly (but that was his usual thing), and a slightly form fitting black sweater with a bit of fraying on the edges. He of course was trying to hide all of this inside of his usual black robes, but Syrulia could really see the slight muscles in his chest even so.

"Evening," Severus quickly acknowledged her greeting. "Shall we go then," his voice had returned to its normal cool tone, and his features once again masked his feelings. "Yes, of course," Syrulia answered. Her heart beat fast as she followed Severus up to the Great Hall. As they entered Syrulia's heart filled with joy. The room always looked beautiful with all of the Christmas decorations, but on Christmas Eve it really seemed to shine brightly.

Syrulia and Severus quickly joined the others at the table, and just in time as Dumbledore entered right behind them. He seemed to be the last one to enter, and just as he did the feast appeared on the table before them. Syrulia knew that the real feast would come tomorrow, but she always loved the dishes on Christmas Eve too. There was traditional German Rouladen, Irish Spiced Beef, Cranberry Sauce, and loads of potatoes. For dessert, she enjoyed some Christmas Stollen. After dinner they played a few games of Wizard Chess, before returning to the common room for bed.


	18. Chapter 18

XVIII.

In the morning, Syrulia awoke and threw on her night robe before rushing out into the common room. The three first years were already awake and had found all of their presents from under the tree. Syrulia knelt down and pulled out all of the remaining presents. There were three for her, two from Avery and one from her mother. The remaining present was addressed to Severus. 'Oh yeah,' Syrulia thought to herself, remembering what she had forgotten to bring out with her. She returned to her bed and pulled the present out from underneath, quickly returning to the tree. Just as she placed her present with Severus' other gift, she heard a door close.

She turned to find Severus already dressed for the day in his normal attire. He sauntered over to her, and she beamed up at him. "Good morning," she greeted. Severus nodded in acknowledgment. "Here," Syrulia said, handing him the stack of two parcels. Severus looked startled for second and then his face returned to normal, as he took the packages from her. She watched as he opened the present from his mother first, a black journal and book. When he set the items aside and looked at the second package, he looked up to Syrulia. "Is it from you," he questioned coolly. She nodded in return, and watched him carefully remove the paper from the box. He pulled the lid off to reveal a lovely black scarf; the material seemed to glisten as though it contained unicorn hair. "It's lovely," Severus stated continuing to stare down at it. "It has a magical thread in it," Syrulia explained, "to amplify charms while you wear it. Great for protective charms."

Severus looked up at her finally, her warm smile melting him into a puddle. "I hope you like it," she said, smiling even larger. "I love it," Severus assured, before adding, "I feel bad I have nothing for you." "That's quite alright, you weren't expected too," Syrulia bubbled. As Severus lifted the scarf out of the box, looking at it more carefully, Syrulia quietly opened her presents. First were the two from Avery (she had sent him a box of chocolates and a new book): a cute hat and a quill with color changing ink. From her mother she had received a box of candy with a card from her muggle Grandparents (who thought she was away in a normal boarding school).

At lunchtime the students made their way into the Great Hall for the wonderful Christmas Feast. Tons of sides, roasted turkey, and all sorts of delicious desserts graced the table. Syrulia was sure she would over eat like she normally did on holidays. She actually spoke with the first year students, and tried dragging Severus into the conversation as well. He resisted, but quite admired the way she seemed to have grown in confidence over the last few days.

After dinner they each got to open a Christmas cracker. This had always been one of Syrulia's favorite parts of Christmas. Hers contained a purple cowboy style hat, and a box of Chocolate Frogs. Severus got a crown and box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. They played more wizard chess, with Syrulia almost beating Professor Slughorn. Finally they made their way back to the common room to enjoy the quiet for a while before dinner.

They sat down on the couch by the fire, and Syrulia curled up in one corner. As she relaxed she noticed something overhead. She stared up at it for a moment before realizing what it was. She nudged Severus lightly with her foot, and when he looked over she pointed to the ceiling. Severus stared up, trying to make out what the object was. 'A plant, with…' Severus thought before realizing what it was. Before he could stop her, Syrulia had moved against him and kissed him. He took a sharp breath and smelled the sweet smell of her; he felt her heat against him and the weight of her form against his body. He melted into the kiss for an instance, and then thought about Avery and Lily again and felt guilty. He lightly shoved Syrulia off of him, and then quietly left the room. Syrulia stared after him, again feeling quite heartbroken.


	19. Chapter 19

XIX.

Over the next few days, Severus made himself scarce in the common room. Syrulia realized that he was avoiding her, and it made her feel horrible. When Syrulia went to breakfast in the morning and he was nowhere to be found, she would eat quickly and return to her bed. She lay around thinking about her life, and her depression grew again. She had been having such a wonderful week, and had messed it up by being an idiot. 'Of course Severus doesn't love you,' she thought to herself, 'you deserve no better than the abuse you receive from Avery. Be thankful you have him.'

These thoughts continuously penetrated her mind, even as she tried to focus on her homework. Along with these thoughts came the thoughts of how useless she was at magic in general. It was her final year and she had no idea what she wanted to do with her life. She had been so preoccupied with keeping Avery happy and trying to keep under the radar that she hadn't really focused on herself. Her mind continued to show her horrible thoughts and she lay in bed accepting them, crying.

Finally on the last day before the other students were supposed to return for term, Syrulia found Severus sitting in the common room by the fire. She had just returned from dinner, and did not know if he would want her to speak to him or not. She decided on "not", and walked quickly towards the dorm rooms. As she passed the couch where Severus was sitting, he called out, "Syrulia, wait." Her heart dropped into her stomach, and she slowly turned around to face him. She dared not say anything, but looked deeply into his eyes. "Syrulia, I'm sorry," his tone started off coolly. "Me too," she muttered in response. "You shouldn't have to be sorry," his voice now exposed some of his sadness.

"Yes, I should," Syrulia, stated, "I should never have kissed you without asking. I put you in an uncomfortable position, and I'm sorry." "I kissed you first," Severus reminded her. "I suppose that's true," Syrulia smirked as she sat down next to him on the couch. "And that's not what I'm sorry for," Severus stated, "I'm sorry that I have been avoiding you. I should have just spoken to you about this before instead of ignoring it." "What do you mean," Syrulia questioned.

"I… I have been having feelings for you," Severus hesitated, "and, it has been very confusing. I know that it is inappropriate of me to kiss you and feel this way about you when you are with Avery. And I am also conflicted by my feelings for Lily. But I have decided that she will never return my feelings, and although you likely cannot either, I have decided to tell you how I feel about you anyways." Syrulia's heart was pounding fast, her cheeks burning red. "I enjoy being with you, and I can't help that. I find you to be beautiful and smart, and I can't help that either. And it drives me crazy that Avery would treat you as anything other than the lovely person that you are," Severus confided.

Syrulia was dumbfounded; she had never expected Severus to feel this way about her, and especially never to express it. She of course had growing feelings for him too, and hadn't known how to tell him. She felt as though he would feel uncomfortable, especially since she was still with Avery. As she thought of Avery she began to feel sick. Sick with guilt, with anger, and with her life in general. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

"I can understand if you don't want to leave Avery for me," Severus stated, drawing Syrulia back out of her thoughts, "But I would take better care of you. Not financially or with possessions, but I would spend time with you all that you wanted… and I would love you unconditionally." Syrulia's heart leapt into her throat as Severus said this, and her desire for him increased threefold. Severus stood up, "I just want you to think about it." With that he walked away, into the boys' dormitories.

Syrulia did think about it. She sat in that very spot thinking about Severus, how kind he was, how electric that first kiss had been, and how much she wanted to be with him. She thought about Avery and how she had cared so much for him, but he only seemed to cause her pain and resentment anymore. She knew that she should break it off with him, but she was terrified. Finally she made the decision to break things off with Avery once he got back, she wouldn't tell him about Severus right away, and she would stay strong knowing she would be able to be with Severus.

Syrulia looked around the room, realizing that the fire had died down, and none of the first years were in the common room. She looked at a clock which told her it was already past 10 PM. Syrulia really wanted to tell Severus that she had decided to leave Avery for him, but knew she shouldn't go into the boys' dormitory. 'There is no enchantment though,' she thought, pondering what to do, 'and he is the only one in his room.' Finally Syrulia decided that it would probably be okay, to just sneak in for a moment to tell him her decision.

She made her way to the door, her heart racing, before looking around the room. Syrulia wanted to make sure no one spotted her. When she found no one around and the room still quiet, she opened the door and slipped inside. She was unsure which room belonged to the 7th year students, so she tiptoed to the first door and peaked inside. Across the room she spied a blonde haired boy, and realized this was the 1st year dorm. 'They must be laid out the same as the girls' side,' Syrulia thought. She tiptoed down the hall to the last door, and peaked in. She saw that only one bed had the curtains drawn, and assumed this must be Severus' bed.

"Severus," Syrulia hissed, hoping he was still awake. Suddenly the curtain slid open, and Syrulia heard rustling. As he walked over to the door, he hissed back at her, "What are you doing in here?" "I wanted to give you my answer," Syrulia whispered. "And it couldn't wait until morning," Severus asked in a whisper. "I didn't think so. Besides, no one will come in here right now," Syrulia said, her voice a bit louder this time. Severus pulled her into the room, shutting the door tightly behind her.

As soon as he was sure no one was coming, he moved across the room to sit on his bed. Syrulia joined him, feeling Severus stiffen. She was sure he was still nervous about her being in the room, let alone on his bed. "So, what have you come to tell me," he asked coldly. "I do want to be with you," she confirmed, "I am going to break up with Avery tomorrow." Severus' heart raced upon hearing this, and he relaxed again. He had been so worried that she would reject him, he hadn't stopped to consider what would happen if she accepted him.

"I won't tell Avery about you, until we are both ready," Syrulia added. "That's probably a good idea," Severus said, lying back. Syrulia leaned back on one side looking down at him. "I just hope Avery won't do something harsh," she sighed. Severus had not thought of this, how had he not thought about what might happen to her. "I will protect you," he assured her, looking up into her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered before leaning down to kiss him.


	20. Chapter 20

XX.

She had caught him off guard, but Severus melted into the kiss, pulling her gently against him. As the kiss deepened, Syrulia moved to straddle him. She felt him tense slightly, and she pulled away to look down at him. "Do you want me to get off of you," she breathed. Severus shook his head, not wanting her to stop, "I'm just not used to this sort of thing." Syrulia nodded, before leaning down to kiss him again. Soon Syrulia's hands became intertwined in Severus' hair, and his hands roamed her body. She could feel his arousal rising between her legs and she reached down to rub the front of his pants. As soon as her fingers brushed against him he pulled away. "Should we really be doing this," he questioned. Syrulia removed her hand and sat back on the bed. "If you don't want to, we don't have to," she reassured him.

Severus was silent while he contemplated what to do. "I am just nervous," he explained. "You don't need to be nervous, Severus," Syrulia said, laying her hand over his. "I've never done any of this before, and I just worry that it won't be good for you, and then you will change your mind about me," Severus admitted. Syrulia lay down next to him, and snuggled closely. "I will never change my mind about you," she whispered into his ear, " _Never_ ".

With this Severus turned to look into her eyes. "Would you let me look into your mind," he whispered his request. Syrulia looked at him, eyes widened. She thought about this for a moment and her mind raced through all of the bad memories he might see. Finally she made up her mind, "You might not like everything you see, but if it will help you to trust me… I will allow it." The two sat in the middle of the bed facing each other, staring into each others eyes, and Severus performed Legilimency on Syrulia.

As he slowly searched her mind, Severus ran through memories from her childhood: her father lovingly doting on her, the first time she involuntarily used magic and his anger afterwards, then a memory of her sitting alone in the garden watching her mother and father inside hugging. He could feel that the last two memories were quite sad and made her feel lonely. Then he moved past memories of her time at Hogwarts: when she met Avery, when they had started dating, when she thought she loved him. This memory caused pain for Severus, but as he continued the pain changed. He began to feel all of the pain that Avery had inflicted on her, he saw memory after memory of Avery's ever changing character where he became more and more sadistic in his attacks on Syrulia. He felt the conflict she felt in trying to cling onto the memory of Avery versus how he continuously made her feel now. Finally Severus began to find memories with himself, little reels of himself with feelings of safety, admiration, anger, and finally pure love. He could feel that she was telling the truth, she did indeed love him, and the feeling had been much greater than the feeling of love she had had for Avery, and especially how she felt about him now.

Severus finally stopped, Syrulia staring deeply into his eyes. There were tears involuntarily escaping her eyes, and she quickly reached up to wipe them away. "Did you find what you needed," she sniffed. "Yes," Severus muttered. "I'm glad, I hope you don't feel differently about me now," Syrulia said sadly. " _Never_ ," Severus repeated her sentiment. Syrulia smiled warmly at him. He slowly leaned in to kiss her once again.


	21. Chapter 21

XXI.

As their kisses became more passionate again, Severus slowly lowered Syrulia back onto his pillow. He trailed kisses down her jawline and onto her neck. She moaned lightly as he did this, unable to control herself. She could feel his hand roaming along her side as he continued kissing back up to her mouth. His tongue slid between her lips, quickly finding hers. She grasped his hand and moved it slowly up to her breast. His hand gently felt the suppleness of her, as he could feel her breathing becoming more rapid. Suddenly he felt her hand between them, sliding slowly towards the growing bulge in his pants. Syrulia felt clumsy as she began to rub against his arousal. She could feel the length of him pressed against her leg, and her desire for him was almost unbearable.

He pulled away slightly, breathing rapidly himself. "I want you," Syrulia whispered. Severus sat back on the bed again, "I desire you fully." Syrulia giggled slightly at this, "I can tell." She then began to remove her sweater, revealing her black lace bra against her pale skin. Severus had never seen anything more beautiful. Syrulia reached towards him, her fingers finding the buttons of his nightshirt, slowly unbuttoning each one. As the shirt slid off of his shoulders, Severus once again felt insecure. However Syrulia was amazed to find that he was indeed quite muscular for someone who seemed so lanky in his normal clothing.

Syrulia moved out of the bed, shedding her pants to the floor. Severus only stared at her standing in the pale light of the room, her flesh straining slightly against the black lace of her undergarments with each passionate breath she took. "Are you ready," she questioned suddenly. Severus nodded, quickly shedding his pants to the floor as well. Syrulia pulled aside the covers of his bed, and climbed under them leaving space for Severus to join her.

As they lay together under the covers, he could feel the heat of her body against him. She slowly moved to straddle him again; only this time he did not fight her. He felt the weight of her rubbing slightly against his erection. 'Only a thin layer between us now,' he thought to himself. She leaned down and kissed him passionately again, as she continued to grind against him. His hands slowly moved over her thighs towards her hips, where he could feel more the passionate movements she made. She pulled away from the kiss, her hands moving behind herself. Suddenly the lace that had been covering her breasts disappeared revealing the milky white flesh beneath.

She leaned down to kiss him again, and he could feel the weight and shape of her breasts pressed against him. If he hadn't been fully ready before, he was now. Syrulia could feel that he was fully hard beneath her, so she slowly moved to remove her panties, tossing them to floor as well. Severus saw this and his heart beat even harder in his chest. 'This is really happening,' he thought excitedly. He felt her hand once again moving down towards his erection, only this time her fingers linked inside his waistband. He felt them lightly touch the tip of him, before her hand skillfully slid inside of his briefs grasping his hardness. He groaned slightly at this touch, and Syrulia slowly shifted his waste band down. He helped finish the job, finally shoving his undergarment towards the foot of the bed.

The pair breathed heavily against each other as Syrulia positioned herself over him. He could feel the warmth of her, and smelt the sweetness of her skin. Slowly she lowered herself onto him, her hand aiding him inside. He could feel the wetness of her as he slid into the heat of her body. She began to move against him, in a lovely, passionate pattern. She leaned down to kiss him as his hands found her breasts. The kiss was passionate but quick, as her lips moved to his neck. Finally he felt her nibble on his ear lightly, causing him to moan slightly. "Does it feel nice," she whispered in his ear. "Yes," his voice came out passionately. He could feel her insides gripping him as she began to move faster. She sat up straighter, putting more pressure against him. He could see her biting her lip against the ecstasy of the moment. Finally she could hold it in no longer as she reached climax, and a high-pitched moan escaped her lips. With this she tightened against him again, and it felt so good that he too began to climax. She could feel him throb inside her as she realized what had happened.

As they collapsed into a puddle of ecstasy and emotions, Severus gently stroked her hair. "Was it good," he questioned suddenly. "Beyond good," Syrulia chuckled against his chest. They lay there snuggling for what seemed like ages. He loved the weight of her against him, and she loved the feeling of his arms around her. However, she finally moved off the top of him and sat on the edge of the bed. "What are you doing," he questioned her. "Tomorrow the other students return. I can't stay in here in case I fall asleep," she explained. "Ah, yes, that," Severus said downtrodden. "Don't worry," Syrulia whispered, "I will see you in the morning." Severus pulled his boxers back on and then helped Syrulia find all of her garments. As she dressed he couldn't help but look at her perfect silhouette in the light. "You really are beautiful," he whispered as she pulled on her sweater. "Thank you," she giggled.

Severus walked her to the doorway, "I love you, Syrulia". Syrulia was slightly shocked by this confession of love, and turned to look at Severus. His arms wrapped lightly around her waist pulling her closer. She wrapped her arms over his shoulders, kissing him softly, lovingly. "I love you, Severus Snape," her whisper causing his heart to race again. "Goodnight," she whispered finally, with one last kiss on his cheek. He watched her walk down the hall towards the common room, then disappear behind the door.

Morning came too soon for Syrulia. She had been dreaming about Severus, and for a moment was sad upon awakening. Then she remembered all that had happened, and was suddenly excited to start the day. She quickly climbed out of bed, throwing on new clothes, fixing her hair into a messy ponytail, and putting on a light makeup. She couldn't wait to see Severus and give him a good morning hug. She rushed quickly out into the common room, but stopped instantly after exiting the girls' hallway.

"Good morning my love," Avery said as he spotted her.


	22. Chapter 22

XXII.

"Avery," Syrulia gasped, caught entirely off guard. "That happy to see me, huh," Avery smirked as he moved closer to her. "I am just surprised you are back so early in the day," she responded with a weak smile. "I rushed back to be with you," he smiled down at her. Syrulia felt a pang of guilt in her heart as he pulled her into a hug. 'I can't do this,' she thought panicking. Severus' face popped into her mind, and her courage grew. "Avery," she said, pushing him away lightly. "What is it," he asked, looking down at her with furrowed brows. "We need to talk," Syrulia managed to whisper. "What do you mean," Avery questioned, a hint of fear and anger in his voice.

Syrulia's heart beat hard in her chest and her stomach churned. She grasped Avery's hand and led him to the couch by the fire. As they sat down, she really felt like she might be ill. "Avery," she started, but didn't really know how to get it out… where to start? He pulled her hand into both of his and looked at her hopefully. Her heart was breaking as she thought about what she must do. She had loved Avery so very much, but he just wasn't the same. And although she would always care about him, she knew that her love now lie with Severus.

"I can no longer be with you," she suddenly blurted out. Avery's brow furrowed and a dark look took over his features. "What are you saying," he questioned, threateningly. "I can't be your girlfriend any more," Syrulia said, her courage growing. She sat up straighter, and pulled her hand slowly out of Avery's grasp. "Why this all of a sudden," he questioned further, his demeanor unchanged. "I had a lot of time to think while you were away… and, I think we've been growing apart for the last two years… you yourself admitted that you noticed it too. And I really need to focus on what I want to do once I leave Hogwarts," she stated, completely leaving out Severus.

Avery just stared at her. "Please say something," Syrulia begged, feeling uneasy about his silence. Finally, without a single word, Avery stood up and walked into the boys' dormitories. She couldn't help but feel horrible about what she had done. How could she do that to him, and how could she possibly deserve Severus' love when she was such a horrible person. She sank back into the chair thinking about this, tears filling her eyes and leaking down her cheeks.

Suddenly Syrulia felt someone sit down on the couch, and for an instant her heart leapt into her throat as she assumed Avery had returned. However, as she looked over she found it to be Severus, and immediately she felt more relaxed. "I've done it, Severus," she told him, wiping the tears off her cheeks. "I know," he stated, "Avery came into the room and started throwing things onto the floor. I quickly noticed they were things you had given him."

"He didn't say a thing," Syrulia hissed, panicking a bit. "It will be alright," Severus assured her, "He will be alright." "I hope you're right," she murmured. Severus squeezed her hand lightly, before standing back up. "Care to go to the library with me," he asked her. Syrulia's heart jumped in her throat as she looked up at him, and nodded.


	23. Chapter 23

XXIII.

As courses resumed, things seemed to be going well. Avery hadn't so much as looked at Syrulia since that day, and it seemed he didn't even suspect Severus. Syrulia and Severus kept their relationship a secret, of course, being very careful who was around when they spoke to one another, meeting in the library for secret kisses, and writing letters to one another to pass off during class. Syrulia began to feel blissful, and was even focusing on what she finally felt she wanted to do with her life.

She had decided to become a healer, and was luckily in the courses she needed to become one. Studying was the key now, if she wanted to become a healer she would have to pass her N.E.W.T. exams for Potions, Transfiguration, Herbology, Charms, and Defense Against the Dark Arts with flying colors. There was a lot of catching up to do, and when she was not spending time with or writing to Severus, she was studying various books and practicing her potions making and charms. It was exhausting work, but she felt that it would be worth it.

When she had told Severus about her choice he was quite surprised. "Out of all of the things you could be, are you sure that is the one," he had asked her. She nodded, smiling up at him. "Why," he asked further. "Because," she started, "I want to be like you. I want to help someone like me. Everyone like me… those who need healing and who are hurting." At this sentiment Severus had been silenced, his dark eyes looking down at her, revealing none of the emotion he had been feeling inside.

It was a stormy Saturday night, and Syrulia sat studying by the fire. She suddenly heard footsteps approaching her, and looked up to find Avery and Mulciber, along with another Slytherin whom she did not know, walking towards her. Avery's face looked very odd, a bit angry but also foggy in some way, and as they got close Syrulia could smell the reason. "I need to talk to you," Avery slurred. "You're drunk," Syrulia stated drily. "That has nothing to do with it," he stated, swaying a bit, as he stood still looking down at her.

"Fine, where would you like to talk," she allowed. Avery looked around the room, and finding it almost empty, pointed to a rather enclosed corner of the room. Syrulia followed him there, not daring to sit in his presence. "What do you want," she questioned after a moment of silence. Syrulia suddenly noticed that Mulciber and the other boy stood blocking the exit from this part of the room, and this thought began to make her panic.

"You know, you belong to me and I can't let you continue to do what you want," Avery's voice came out slurred, yet strong and forceful. "Avery, I am not yours. You are clearly not thinking straight," she retorted. Suddenly Avery grasped her wrist pulling her against him. "I am thinking more clearly than ever," he hissed at her. The fear was rising inside of Syrulia now, as her heart beat faster and harder in her chest. "Well you are wrong in your thought, I belong to no one," Syrulia snapped back. She hoped by seeming tough that he would give up on this and leave her alone.

"Oh, but you do belong to me," Avery insisted, as his arms slid around her his hands sliding over her body. "Stop this," Syrulia hissed, trying to pull free. His embrace only tightened as he forced her down onto the couch. "I marked you, and you are mine," he bragged as his fingers traced once more the small scar that graced her cheek. "We both agreed that was an accident," Syrulia stammered. "You know damned well that it wasn't," Avery hissed in her ear. His hands continued to feel her body as she struggled against him. "Please stop," she whimpered now.

"No," Avery growled, "I will take what is mine." With this comment he forced her backwards onto the couch, his body pressing down heavily on hers. "I will scream," Syrulia cried. "No one will hear you," Avery said, before forcing a cloth into her mouth. Syrulia struggled harder against him, trying desperately to reach for her wand. When Avery realized what she was doing he quickly pulled her wand out of her pocket and threw is across the floor.

Tears filled her eyes as she continued to struggle. If only she could get away or pull the cloth from her mouth. As her breathing quickened and her heart pounded in her chest, she could feel the cloth slipping deeper in her mouth towards her throat. She began to gag slightly and her fear deepened. If she didn't calm down she would cause her own suffocation. She forced herself to breathe through her nose and to stop struggling. As she did this Avery's grip on her loosened and she made her move towards escape.

She was not fast enough, and Avery quickly forced her back down onto the couch. He pulled her arms up above her head, grasping them strongly with one hand, pushing them down harshly. She sobbed now, realizing that this was really going to happen. 'How can he be doing this to me,' she thought, 'Why?' She could feel his hand moving up her leg finding its way beneath her skirt. He forced her panties aside, and she could feel him working on his own pants.

Suddenly a voice rang out, "Avery, stop this." 'Severus,' Syrulia thought as relief quickly poured over her. Avery quickly zipped his pants back, stumbling into a standing position. Syrulia quickly fixed her clothing, pulling the cloth from her mouth. It was only now that she realized it was a pair of gloves, which she had gifted to Avery for Christmas a few years before. Her heart broke anew, and she realized that the Avery she loved was truly gone. He would never have done this to her, never.

"This is of no concern to you, Severus," Avery barked. "But it is," Severus stated coolly, pushing past Mulciber and the other boy. Severus looked down at Syrulia whose hair was disheveled, her robes slightly displaced. Anger burned in Severus then. He had suspected what was going on when he had come into the common room and seen Syrulia's things still at the table, but her no where to be found. He had spotted Mulciber and Rosier, and knew immediately that Avery would be there as well. The thing he had not anticipated was the act that had been occurring.

"What are you saying," Avery questioned angrily. Severus turned to Avery, unable to hide the anger that had been kindled inside of him. "I love her," Severus declared, stepping towards her. He knelt down, grasping her hand. "Are you alright," he whispered. Syrulia nodded, looking into his dark eyes where she could see the anger and sadness. "I see what is going on," Avery snarled, "You are the reason she left me."

Severus quickly turned back to Avery, "It's not the only reason. You are horrible to her. What was she supposed to do? Stay with you until you killed her?" The venom in Severus' words hit Avery almost physically. "And you love him too," Avery questioned, turning his eyes on Syrulia now. "Yes," she admitted. With this Avery was quiet for a long time, thinking about the situation and how best to handle it.

"Fine, you keep her. You two half bloods deserve each other anyways," Avery spat. With this comment, Syrulia flinched, but Severus' face had returned to its normal stony façade. Avery pushed past the other two boys who had been pretending not to listen, and they quickly followed him into the boys' dormitory.

Finally, Severus sat down next to Syrulia on the couch. It was completely silent for a moment, before Syrulia decided to ask, "Severus, are you alright?" "Alright? How… how can you ask me that? You are the one who…" his voice trailed off as he didn't want to state what had almost happened. He breathed in deeply and sighed. "It's okay," Syrulia comforted. Severus turned to look at her, a deep sadness now present on his face, "It's not okay, I almost wasn't here to stop him. I promised I would protect you, but I left you alone to deal with him… and look what happened."

"But you were here. You did protect me," Syrulia stated desperately. Severus looked down at his hands, and then noticed Syrulia's wand on the floor a couple of feet away. "I see you tried to defend yourself," he muttered. "Of course," Syrulia smiled softly, "You've made me stronger." Severus picked up her wand and handed it back to her. As he looked into her eyes he could see that she held no ill will against him. She really believed that he had done his best, and she would be forever thankful for his saving her.

"We don't have to sneak around anymore," she pointed out suddenly with a smile. "Yes, I suppose we don't need to," he admitted coolly. Syrulia slid closer to Severus grasping his hand, and pulled it up to her mouth kissing it. "Thank you, Severus," she whispered. He wrapped his arm around her then, pulling her into a tight embrace. She breathed in his scent, fully relaxing and pushing the horrible memory of what had almost occurred far from her mind.


	24. Chapter 24

XXIV.

As the weeks went by Severus became more and more comfortable holding hands with Syrulia as they walked down the halls. They no longer had to meet in the library for secret little rendezvous, and sat next to each other in pretty much every class. Severus helped Syrulia study for her N.E.W.T.s, practicing charms and defensive magic with her, and tutoring her in potions. He was surprised at how quickly she picked up on different techniques and retained the information. He could only assume that the trouble she had been having before must have come from her treatment at the hands of Avery.

They had begun speaking again as well, Avery and Severus, but it was very formal, nothing really friendly. Mulciber had confided in Severus that Avery was still very bitter about Severus having stolen Syrulia away, but he was getting over it. Severus was still very angry and harbored hatred towards Avery, but this gave him the opportunity to practice hiding his emotions and thoughts from others. The only person he would let down his guard with was Syrulia.

Syrulia had returned her many gifts from Avery to him and he had apologized to her, excusing himself with the alcohol he had consumed. She accepted his apology, although she held it within her mind what had almost happened, and all of the other things he had put her through. "Her Avery" was dead in her eyes and had been replaced by this cold replica that she harbored no feelings for. It made it far easier for her to ignore him this way, and to not hold any of these horrible things against the memory of her good friend.

As they got closer to the Easter holiday, Syrulia was hopeful to be completely alone with Severus once more. She wanted to have more meaningful conversations with him, and perhaps even sleep with him in his bed. She wasn't sure if he would allow this, but she wanted to try. She would ask him once she knew he would be the only one in the 7th year dorm room. She continuously held this hope in her heart as she continued to study with him.


	25. Chapter 25

XXV.

The day came for the students who were returning home for holiday to head down to Hogsmeade for the train to London. Syrulia and Severus walked down to Hogsmeade to watch the others leaving and do a little shopping. As they passed the train station, something caught Severus' attention, and his hand dropped away from Syrulia's. She turned quickly and spotted a flash of red hair, immediately realizing what had happened. "Lily," Syrulia muttered under her breath. Severus turned back and looked at Syrulia, a slight grimace on her face. "I only want to talk to her," Severus explained. Syrulia didn't say anything; she just nodded and looked down at her feet.

Severus made his way over to Lily, and finding her alone called her name. She turned and looked at him, her face looking slightly angry. "What do you want, Severus," she questioned in a threatening tone. "I just wanted to try apologizing again," he admitted, looking into her lovely eyes. "It doesn't matter how many times you say it. Your actions speak otherwise," Lily declared. "I know that," he said, looking down at his hands, "I am trying to be better." "Oh," Lily queried. "But not for you," he stated, looking up. "Then for whom," she asked, extremely curious. Severus turned to look at Syrulia, and at first thought she had disappeared, but as the crowd cleared he found her sitting on a bench waiting. This caused him to smile lightly, and as he did so Lily looked to where his eyes pointed and saw the girl too and her heart warmed at the thought.

"I see," she said, smiling at Severus, "do you love her?" Severus paused before nodding, "Yes, I love her. She can't replace you, my friend, but I love her just the same." "I think you will love her more," Lily said suddenly. Severus turned back to look at Lily, confusion obvious on his face. "You need someone who loves you the same way," she informed him. "I suppose you are right… as usual," Severus smirked. After a moment of silence, he asked, "So we are okay then? You and I?" Lily nodded, smiling at her oldest friend. Severus smiled back, before heading over to find Syrulia.

As he approached, Syrulia stood up clasping her hands together nervously. "Ready to go on," Severus asked her gently. She nodded, and finally looked up into his dark eyes. There was something in them now that had not been there before. 'Contentment,' she thought. He grasped her hand, pulling her along towards Honeyduke's.


	26. Chapter 26

When they returned to the castle they found the common room to be empty. "Maybe we are the only Slytherin students to stay behind this time," Syrulia suggested. "Perhaps," Severus stated drily. "Severus, I've been meaning to ask you something," she stated. "Oh," he questioned, raising an eyebrow. The pair sat down on the couch by the fire, and Syrulia snuggled close to Severus. She could feel him tense slightly. He was still not used to her being so close to him. "Perhaps it is a question best left for another time," Syrulia doubted. "Come now, just tell me," Severus said in his normal cool tone, looking down at her.

"Well," Syrulia started, "I just… do you think that maybe… maybe we could try sleeping together, while the dormitory's empty." Severus' heart raced now, thinking about the prospect. "Syrulia, I'm not so sure…" his voice trailed off as he saw the crestfallen look on her face. "It's just that, maybe we aren't going to be alone. We should just wait and see; we can discuss this again later," he reassured her. "I hope you will at least consider it," she murmured, playing with the hem of her dress.

As they sat in silence, Syrulia thought of another question, "What did you say to Lily?" Severus tensed even more with this question, looking back to the fire. "I just apologized again," he stated. "And she accepted this time," Syrulia concluded. "Yes," Severus said. After a moment of silence, he added, "Because of you." She looked up at him curiously, and he elaborated, "I told her about you. How you're changing me for the better." "Am I really?" Syrulia asked, a small smirk playing on her lips. Severus nodded, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "I love you, Severus," she whispered, her hands grasping his robes pulling herself against him tightly. "And I love you," he stated, kissing the top of her head.

At dinner it was confirmed that Syrulia and Severus were indeed the only Slytherin students to have stayed behind. It was also acknowledged that Professor Slughorn had left for the holiday as well. So, Syrulia had gotten her wish, she and Severus would be completely alone in the Slytherin dormitories. All through dinner her heart raced as she hoped that Severus would concede and say yes to her request. When they entered the Slytherin common room, Severus said nothing. He plopped down in an armchair, and Syrulia sat across from him.

"So," she questioned. He was still silent but looked up at her hopeful face. Really there was no good reason to say no. They were completely alone, with not even their head of house there to check in on them. The professors completely trusted them, as they were high-level students with exceptional work. Who would expect them to be getting into trouble in private? No one. The only thing giving him pause was his own fear of something that he had never done. 'What's the worst that can happen,' he thought, 'we've already been intimate once.' With this thought he finally conceded, "Yes, you can come to my bed." The smile spread across Syrulia's face, pure joy shining through her eyes. "It will be lovely, I promise," she commented happily.

"Are you ready to go now," Severus asked her, looking into her eyes. She nodded, still smiling happily. Syrulia stood up, staring down at him, "I will go get ready and meet you in there." "Alright," Severus said, smirking up at her. Syrulia's heart beat quickly as she made her way into the girls' dorms to change and gather a few things. She felt so blissful; it felt like her life was finally worth living. She couldn't wait to join Severus and lay curled up with him.

"The next chapter is another Lemony one, so skip to chapter 28 if you'd rather not read that. ^-^


	27. Chapter 27

XXVII.

She raced across the darkening common room, and although she knew there was no one else around, looked to see that the room was empty before entering the boys' dormitories. Knowing where Severus' bed was located, Syrulia immediately walked down the hallway into the 7th year boys' room. As she entered she found Severus pulling on his nightshirt facing away from the doorway. She cleared her throat to indicate that she had entered the room.

Severus turned when he heard her and his eyes widened at the sight. She stood in the doorway, her night robe open in the front revealing a black lacy nightgown. The top clung tightly to her breasts and the fabric beneath cascaded towards the floor. As she moved closer the robe slid down around her elbows and Severus could see through the sheer fabric the lace panties beneath. "You look like you've seen a ghost," she smirked up at him, grasping his hand in hers. "You look stunning," he explained. Syrulia smiled, she knew he would like this outfit, "Thank you, Severus."

She pulled on the edges of his shirt, where he had not yet buttoned it shut and tiptoed up to kiss him. Her hand gently touched his chest, sending shivers down him. He grasped her waist, drawing her in closer, and deepening the kiss. As the passion rose, Severus could feel a burning need rising in him. He slowly pulled away from the kiss looking down at her. Her eyes burned with desire as she looked up into his. He grasped her hand, leading her to the bed, sitting on the edge. Syrulia dropped her robe onto the floor before sitting next to Severus.

He looked down at his hands nervously, when suddenly Syrulia grasped one of his hands gently. He looked up and found her smiling at him lightly. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to," she explained. "I know," he said looking back down at her hand in his. "We can just cuddle if you want," she added. Severus leaned over then, kissing her lips gently before trailing kisses across her cheek. Finally he whispered in her ear, "What if I want to do more?" With this comment Syrulia's heart leapt into her throat, her stomach full of butterflies, her face burning.

Severus took this reaction as a yes, and gently lay Syrulia back onto his pillow. She stared up into his dark eyes, unable to read his emotions. He looked down at her laying there, her silvery curls spread out over the pillow, her eyes heavy with longing, her chest rising rapidly with each breath straining slightly against the black lace of her nightgown. His lust for her only grew as he pressed his body against hers, kissing her gently. Her hands moved up to his shoulders grasping his shirt tightly. As their kiss deepened again, he felt one of her legs slowly slide out from beneath him, allowing his body to move closer against her.

Syrulia could feel her desire growing as his bare chest pressed against her bared skin. As his hands roamed her body she could feel his ever-growing lust pressing against her. As he slowly moved his kisses from her mouth down to her neck, she could feel him rubbing lightly against her sensitive skin. Finally his kisses landed on the bare skin of her breasts just above the black lace. He stopped then, pulling away to look down on her fully. He was ready, but wanted to be sure that she was as well. "Are you sure you want to continue," he breathed his question. "Yes," she practically moaned in answer.

Severus removed his shirt, flinging it to the floor. He gently lifted Syrulia's legs to either side of his own, slowly lifting the sheer fabric of her dress. She then assisted him in removing the black lace underwear, which landed on the floor next to his shirt. As he began kissing her again, Syrulia could feel his fingers gentle sliding over the skin he had just exposed, and suddenly felt one of them slide down deeper. She gasped as she felt his fingers slowly slide against her moist flesh. As one finger slid inside, she arched her back grasping the blankets on his bed. As another finger joined, and he found a rhythm, she began to squirm slightly against his touch. He kissed down her neck again, as she moaned lightly. The heat inside of him was becoming almost unbearable, as he gently bit her neck. With this she moaned louder, before begging him, "Severus, please. I need you inside of me."

His heart beat harder in his chest at her desperate words, and he slowly withdrew his fingers from between her warm flesh. He pulled his pants down before awkwardly kicking them over the side of the bed. As he positioned himself against her he could feel the heat radiating from her body. She pushed herself against him gently, and he finally pushed himself inside. She moaned again, her hands grasping the bed once more. He leaned down to kiss her gently before beginning to move inside of her. It was almost pure ecstasy as their bodies moved together.

As she lifted her pelvis up to meet his, she could feel him hitting the right spot; it felt even better than before and she could feel herself building towards climax. Her moans became higher pitched as they inched closer to the edge of bliss. "Severus," she practically screamed as she reached climax. He lifted her up against him as he continued to thrust inside of her. She clawed his back as this happened, and it was just the extra amount of pleasure he needed. He too came as he groaned with pleasure, grasping her tightly as he thrust hard inside of her one last time. He sat back on the bed, with her still on top of him, as they kissed passionately their chests rising together in rapid succession. "I love you," he whispered into her ear as they continued to embrace. "And I love you, my dearest Severus," she sighed happily before leaning against his chest. They sat like this as their breath began to slow and their bodies began to cool. Finally Syrulia moved off of him, the fluid that had been blocked now spilling over the bed.

"Oops," Syrulia giggled. She reached over onto the floor finding her wand inside of her robe. She quickly waved it over the bed and herself, the evidence quickly vanishing. "Syrulia," Severus said suddenly in a slightly panicked tone. "What is it Severus," Syrulia asked, concern apparent in her voice. "This is the second time that we have done this without protection," he stated. "Oh," Syrulia laughed. Severus looked at her horrified for a moment, before she grasped his hand; "I have a potion for this." She leaned over once more pulling a vial from the robe's pocket. She held it up for him to see, before pulling the stopper out and quickly downing the contents. "Nothing to worry about," she smiled at him.


	28. Chapter 28

XXVIII.

After they both redressed, they lay under the covers, Syrulia snuggled close her head resting on his chest. They lay in the darkened room in silence. "Severus," her voice softly echoed in the dark. "Yes," he answered, his voice back to its normal cool tone. "Have you told your parents about me," she questioned. Severus pressed his cheek to the top of her head, breathing in the sweet scent of her hair. "I mentioned you in a letter to my mother," he admitted. "I see," she whispered. "Why do you ask," he questioned in return. "Just curious," she answered.

It was silent again for a moment before Severus decided to ask the same thing. "I wrote to my mother about you as soon as I broke up with Avery," she admitted. "And did she say anything back about me," he questioned. "Well, actually, yes. She said that she was happy for me, and that she thought my father might like you better than Avery since your father is a muggle," Syrulia explained. "You told her that," Severus hissed. Syrulia sat up quickly moving away from Severus slightly. "I didn't tell her. Apparently she knows your mother," she sputtered. As Severus stared up at her he could see the look of fear in her eyes. He recognized it from the handful of times he had seen Syrulia attacked by Avery. He sat up and slowly grasped one of her hands. "Syrulia," he whispered, "you needn't ever be scared of me. I will never hurt you." As the look of fear diminished he reached up to gently caress her cheek. She leaned into his touch, before he swiftly pulled her into his embrace. "I promise you," he whispered.

As they lay back down facing each other on the pillow, Severus decided it would be okay to question further. "Would you like me to meet your parents," his question came. Syrulia's eyes widened, she had never thought about it, but supposed maybe he should. "One day," she answered, as she lightly pushed a piece of Severus' hair back from his face. "Okay," he breathed out, not having realized he had been holding his breath. Syrulia smiled at him, as she gently stroked the side of his face, placing a small kiss on his nose.

"I don't know how you could ever have fallen in love with me," Severus remarked then. Syrulia smirked at this, "How could I not?" She kissed him again gently, before looking deep into his eyes. Her silvery blue eyes shone even in the darkness of the room, causing Severus heart to beat harder once again. 'How could I ever be so lucky,' he thought to himself. "Goodnight, my love," she whispered suddenly, rolling over and sliding back against him. Her head rested right beneath his chin, and he wrapped his top arm around her drawing her in closer. "Goodnight, dearest Syrulia," he whispered.


	29. Chapter 29

XXIX.

The holiday break was over too quickly for Syrulia. She had slept with Severus every night of the break except for the final night (before the other students returned). She had felt so safe and slept well, comfortable next to him. However, when she went back to sleep in her own bed, she began to have nightmares about something bad happening to Severus. She had told him about the dreams, of course, but he had just shrugged it off as being 'just a dream'. Still, something about the dreams felt like a warning to her, but she could never remember enough about the dream upon awakening to know what it was.

As, the weeks went by, things were back to the way they had been: classes, studying with Severus, and working hard at potions and charms. The only difference now was that Severus was on speaking terms with Lily again. Not that they would speak often, but she would wave to him if they passed in the corridor, and speak to him in classes they shared. Ever time it happened Syrulia would feel a pang of jealousy gnawing at her insides. She didn't say anything, not wanting to push her luck. She continued to feel as though she was living in a dream and would wake up at anytime, back to the horrible life she had lived before.

When the last weekend for Hogsmeade trips arrived, Syrulia awoke excited for a break from studying. She dressed quickly and went out into the common room to wait for Severus. "He's gone with Lily Evans," Mulciber told her, when he realized she was waiting. "Severus did," Syrulia asked meekly. "Yes, she came to the corridor asking for him, and he went out there with her. I heard they left the castle towards the village," Mulciber elaborated. Syrulia's heart dropped into her stomach, as she thought about Severus and Lily alone together. She imagined them in the same position she had found Avery and that random girl. "Thanks," she muttered to Mulciber before quickly leaving the common room and heading for the village alone. 'Please let it be innocent,' she thought to herself over and over, walking as quickly as she could.

Walking past the train station, she began to panic, not really knowing where to look for Severus. As she reached the first shop, she could feel tears stinging her eyes. 'You're being silly,' she thought to herself, but she couldn't help her feelings. As she sat down on a bench outside of Honeyduke's, she looked up to spot Severus and Lily walking across the road through her tear blurred vision. She could hear Lily laughing, and this caused the tears to spill down Syrulia's cheeks. She buried her face in her hands, trying to stop herself, knowing there was no reason to cry.

"What's wrong," a familiar voice asked suddenly. Syrulia dropped her hands to find Avery in front of her. "It's nothing," she said, wiping the tears away with the back of her hands. "Seems like something to me," Avery pushed it further. "I'm just being dramatic as usual," she told him, looking down at her lap. "Nonsense," Avery chided, "Did Severus abandon you here?" Syrulia shook her head, "No, he did not." "Then why are you alone crying," he asked her, a smug look on his face. "I already told you, I'm just being dramatic. Severus is just spending time with Lily today is all," Syrulia told him. "Well, perhaps since you are alone, you wouldn't mind joining me in the Three Broomsticks," he proposed. Syrulia looked across the street and found Severus speaking with Lily outside of the post office. "Sure," she decided. Avery offered his hand and Syrulia accepted.

Severus looked across the street just in time to see Avery holding hands with a girl, as he looked closer he noticed those familiar ashy-blonde curls and his heart skipped a beat. "Avery," Severus muttered under his breath. "What is it, Severus," Lily questioned. She noticed his gaze, and followed it across the street to see Syrulia entering the Three Broomsticks with another Slytherin. "Is that Avery," she questioned. "Yes," Severus answered, anger evident in his tone. "You have to go after her, Sev," Lily demanded. "You're right. I will see you later," Severus said as he made his way to cross the street.

When he entered the Three Broomsticks he found Syrulia and Avery sitting in a corner booth. "Syrulia," Severus called as he approached them. She turned to look at Severus, her heart rising into her throat. She forced a smile, "Severus!" "What's going on," he asked her. "We're just enjoying some butterbeers," Avery answered. "Yes, Avery was just keeping me company while you were spending time with Lily," Syrulia shot. "I don't know if I'm okay with that," Severus declared. "Really, Severus, I wasn't trying anything," Avery stated. "Syrulia, may I have a word in private," Severus snapped. Syrulia said nothing, but stood and followed Severus back outside.

"What are you doing with him," he started angrily. "I came to find you, and when I saw you were with Lily having so much fun, I kind of just… got upset. I was sitting alone and Avery happened to notice me, and invited me along for a drink," she explained. "He's dangerous," Severus exclaimed. "I know, but it was to a public place and I was upset, Severus," Syrulia noted. Severus was silent for a moment. His heart hurt thinking about Syrulia being with Avery, thinking about what had almost happened before, about what could have happened just now, and then about the fact that she said she had been upset. "Why were you upset," he asked, his voice softening.

Syrulia didn't know how to say it; she didn't want Severus to think she was being stupid. She thought it herself without him having to say so. Finally she decided to just admit it, admit everything, "I was feeling jealous… and I felt like an outsider who didn't belong… and I imagined you doing the same thing to me as Avery… with her… I just… I lost it. I was crying when Avery found me outside." Severus was shocked. He hadn't really thought that it was bothering Syrulia that he was spending time with Lily. He thought that she had grown stronger and had worked past all of the pain that she had been through, but now he could see that she was deeply imprinted by it. "I know it's stupid," Syrulia blurted out suddenly, pulling Severus from his thoughts.

"It's not stupid, Syrulia," he started, "I didn't know that you were feeling jealous or I wouldn't have left you alone. I thought I would return before you woke. Lily came to help me find a gift for you." He held up a bag as he said this, and Syrulia felt even more foolish, her cheeks burning. "I'm sorry, Severus," she apologized, "I just know how much you like her." Severus pulled Syrulia into his embrace suddenly, catching her entirely off guard. "I told you I would never hurt you, and that includes by cheating on you. I will never do that, ever. I promise, I love you," he whispered. "I know. And I love you, so very much," Syrulia murmured.

Severus could tell that she was still having reservations about this. He realized something then. She had never seen that his intentions were pure. He had seen the inside of her mind, her memories and feelings, but she had not seen his and never even asked. "Come on," he said, grasping her hand and pulling her back towards the castle. He walked quickly and Syrulia tried to keep pace. "Where are we going," she questioned. "You'll see," Severus said coolly. They soon approached the lake and finally stopped in front of a large tree. Severus sat down in the grass, laying the shopping bag down on the ground. Syrulia followed suit and sat down across from him silently. "I want you to practice the use of Legilimency on me," Severus stated drily. "Severus, I don't think–," Syrulia started, but was cut off by Severus. "Please, Syrulia. I want you to see how I see you, that way you will trust me more," he begged. "Okay, Severus," she agreed.

She had never actually used Legilimency as it was not taught at Hogwarts, but she had practiced the incantation and wand movement. As she followed through what she had practiced, images and emotions suddenly flooded into her mind. As she tried her hardest to navigate through his mind, she saw memories of him as a child, before she had met him: a time when he was cowering away from his father yelling over him, when he first met Lily, his first time on the train to Hogwarts, the excitement he had felt then. She then felt his extreme longing for Lily, causing her to feel extreme jealousy. She must have pushed this out towards Severus, because she felt him grasp her hand reassuringly. Then she saw her own face in his mind. She could feel his sadness as he repeatedly helped her to heal from Avery's attacks, and she could see the bruises as they disappeared. As she moved on to a different memory, the first time they had been intimate, she could feel his total love and devotion. Then a final memory of Severus apologizing to Lily that day before the Easter break, showing that he wasn't lying when he said they were just friends and that he truly loved Syrulia now. She did still get a feeling of loyalty and devotion to Lily in his mind, but it didn't seem to diminish his feelings for her.

She blinked as she looked at him now. "I'm sorry, Severus," she apologized again. "For what," he questioned, a sense of fear in his tone. "For not believing you without doing this," she admitted. He pulled her into his lap then, and hugged her tightly. "It is of no concern to me, I should have done it sooner. I know that you are damaged, and that you will always have some trouble with trust, but I hope that I can help you to heal this too… over time," he whispered to her, before kissing her cheek lightly. "Thank you, Severus," she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder.


	30. Chapter 30

XXX.

The end of the term approached quickly, and Syrulia was feeling much more confident in her abilities. "I think I might actually do well on my N.E.W.T.s," she told Severus as they were cleaning up their workspace. "I have no doubt you will do well," Severus assured her with a smirk. She smiled back at him, the world seeming to be perfect in that instance. As they began walking towards the dorms, they were stopped by a group of figures blocking the corridor. The closer they got the more of them Syrulia recognized: Avery, Mulciber, a couple of Slytherin students she didn't know, and a boy whom she had learned was Evan Rosier. "What's going on," Severus questioned, his tone icy. At this Syrulia's heart began to beat harder in her chest. "We just want to make sure that you still plan to join the dark lord with us after graduation," one of the girls hissed. "I am reconsidering when I will do so," Severus stated, grasping Syrulia's arm and pulling her slightly behind him protectively. "I had a feeling he was going to say that," Avery spat. "Why does it matter when I join," Severus asked drily. "We think you aren't going to do it," Rosier hissed.

"And so what if he doesn't," Syrulia shouted, moving around Severus her face displaying her anger. Severus' heart dropped into his stomach as he watched her approaching them, her hand on her wand. "Syrulia," he hissed. As he did so, she turned to look at him and Evan grabbed onto her pulling her into the grasp of Wilkes. Syrulia struggled to pull her wand, but her hand slipped and it fell to the floor. In the commotion both Severus and Avery had pulled their wands, and were now pointing them at one another. "Just let her go," Severus hissed, his eyes betraying his anger. "If you don't join, we will have to force you to join," Avery stated, an evil smile spreading across his face. At this Evan had pulled out his wand and pointed it at Syrulia. Severus could not help it then, his face entirely betrayed his fear. "Look at poor Sev-y… doesn't want us to hurt her," Wilkes taunted in a mock baby voice. The others laughed at this, Severus regaining control of his emotions and squaring up again. "It doesn't matter… if you don't join, we will find her," Avery said, his wand lowered slightly. "And we will _play_ with her," Evan added as he thrust his wand against Syrulia's throat, a smile spreading across his face.

"I will do it," Severus hissed, lowering his wand. "Severus," Syrulia whimpered. At this Evan swiftly punched Syrulia in the stomach and Wilkes tossed her to the floor in front of Severus. "We will hold you to it," Avery stated drily. The Slytherin gang quickly walked around Syrulia and Severus headed back towards the stairs. Severus watched them closely as they left, his hand still gripping his wand, ready for attacks. As soon as they had disappeared from the corridor, Severus looked down to Syrulia who still knelt on the floor grasping her abdomen. He squatted down to help her up and found that there were tears in her eyes. This was different from other times he had seen tears in her eyes; these were tears of anger. As he helped her to her feet and returned her wand to her, he hated the silence that continued. "Syrulia," he murmured. She turned and looked at him, as if somehow breaking out of a trance. "Please say something," he said, the fear still alive inside of him. "There is nothing to say," she said grasping his hand and pulling him into the common room.


	31. Epilogue

Epilogue

Finally, after completing all of the N.E.W.T.s Syrulia and Severus met back in the common room, both feeling exhausted (of course) and relieved. "I think that went well," Syrulia said with a content smile. "Yes," Severus agreed coolly. "I think I'm going to turn in early," Syrulia stated, quickly standing up to head to the girls' dorms. "Syrulia, we need to talk about it," Severus begged. She had been avoiding the subject for more than a week, and he knew that they needed to speak about it or they would grow apart. "Severus please," Syrulia begged in turn. She did not want to think about it, let alone speak about it. "It's going to happen, so there is no sense in not addressing it," he stated. Syrulia turned to look at him, his face unreadable. "Fine," she conceded, sitting down next to him on the couch.

"I will join with them, because I want to protect you. I will try to be involved as little as possible," Severus told her. "It's dangerous," she pouted, looking down at her lap. "I know," he admitted. "Why don't we speak to Dumbledore, he can help us," Syrulia suggested. Severus shook his head, "I am strong, and it will be fine. We don't need his help." "If you say so, Severus," Syrulia sighed. "It will be fine," Severus reassured her, turning her head to face him. Deep inside Syrulia feared what would happen to him if he took this path. She knew he was only doing it to protect her, which made her feel guilty about it. "Things are not going to be the same," she whispered. Severus grasped her hands in his, "We will work through it, and we will both become stronger." As she looked into his eyes she believed him, and nodded.

At the end of the year, Syrulia and Severus both found that they had passed all of their exams with flying colors. They would be able to pursue the careers that they wished, and the thought gave them hope for their future. Syrulia would go to work as a Healer in training or Mediwitch at St. Mungo's and Severus would work as an apprentice while waiting for an opening at Hogwarts. Syrulia hoped he would get a position quickly so that he would not be in danger from Voldemort. The threats they faced darkened the feeling of hope, but as they rode the boats back across the lake for their final trip as students hand in hand, Syrulia felt that she could do anything with Severus at her side.

~To Be Continued~


End file.
